Why Kindness Is The Best Defense To Heartbreak

Why Kindness Is The Best Defense To Heartbreak

Heartbreak warfare can be tough, but so are you.
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It happens to everyone at some point, you get your heart broken by a friend or a significant other, or maybe even someone you were just getting to know.

The worst part about having a broken heart is that it requires you to face those feelings, and if you ignore them, then that only makes the situation worse. Personally, spending time outside and remembering that this is one little thing in the big event we call life helped me immensely this week.

"It hurts because it matters" – John Green

Moving on is a hard process. There is no easy way out, but you can do it. Humans are a species of habit and when this routine is interrupted, we are not exactly sure what to do. I did not have a routine with this person that I liked, but I did have my usual way of balancing classes, extracurricular activities and social events. And, I even started thinking of all the things that would happen once we started dating, but all this was thrown out the door into the trash.

The situation was so unexpected that I had no idea how to respond at first. I cried in my room, ate some cookies, called my mom and talked to my friends. Still, I felt horrible, and I just wanted this icky feeling to go away.

The hard part about being someone who loves without limits is that you invest so much into each relationship and friendship. You are always there for your friends and try everything in your power to help them be happy, but you also need to remember that you need to be happy too. And, not everyone is going to put the same amount of love and effort into relationships as you do.

Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are – John Green

I was really emotionally invested in this boy, and I guess I did not know how much I liked this kid until he started hanging out with another girl. Technically, we were not officially dating, but I thought we were starting to get to know each other pretty well, and I was excited and nervous whenever I saw him. But, that excitement quickly transformed into feelings of confusion and betrayal. He later apologized, but I still felt no closure on what had happened. Why was I still so sad and mad?

I kept asking myself “why” and “what if” questions, but those questions are the worst part of this healing process. They will keep you up until 3 a.m., trust me I know, but as I said earlier, you just have to let yourself face those feelings, or find an outlet to release them.

Friends and family are your best resources. Seriously, after I talked to this boy about what had happened, I went into my friend Max’s room and laid on his floor asking for advice. Afterwards, I felt so much better and actually slept through the night. Whether you can lie on a friend’s floor for hours or sit on their bed and eat Oreo cookies, find those people who will truly listen because talking about the situation will help you release some of those feelings you have been bottling up. These are the kinds of friends that are going to support you the most when you are at your worst, so they are going to give you fantastic advice.

While lying on the floor, my friend told me to take no shit. And, I took this motto and used it to start moving on. I decided to make some changes. I cleaned and rearranged my room, reorganized my desk and I have started spending a lot of time outside.

The support and love from my friends overwhelmed me, and I cannot thank them enough for making me feel better.

As for this boy, I have since cut off all communication. I think this is an important part of moving on because you are going to want to stalk them on Facebook and other social media platforms, or text them and ask them why they did it, but this will not help you. The most important thing is to remember that you are your own person and you are not defined by anyone.

Now, here’s why you respond with kindness. It makes you a better person, and you feel happier. You start the day with the mindset to “take no sh*t” and you put your sunglasses (also known as hater blockers) on to express your fabulous self. You go to class, learn all the things and really commit to extracurricular activities. All this will help distract your mind from thinking about "why" and "what if" questions, and will make you be a good student, friend and person.

Being kind and compassionate not only proves you are a bigger person, but it truly reminds you that this petty situation is exactly that—petty. And then, moving on does not seem so bad. You smile at strangers and they smile back, and you remember that there is so much more to life than this one instance. You have wonderful things to do in the world, now go do them.

Cover Image Credit: Zoë's photos

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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The Disrespectful Nature Of My Generation Needs To Stop

Why choosing phone games over a Holocaust survivor was my breaking point.

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While many students that attended Holocaust survivor Hershel Greenblat's talk were rightfully attentive, I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a few outlier students tapping away on their phones. They were minute movements, but inappropriate nonetheless.

Immediately I became infuriated. How, I thought, fuming, did my generation become so blithely unaware to the point where we could not proffer basic respect to a survivor of one of the most horrific events in human history?

Perhaps the students were just texting their parents, telling them that the event would run a bit long. 10 minutes later, my eyes diverted from Greenblat back to the students. They were still on their phones. This time, I could see the screens being held horizontally—indicating a game or a show was being played. I wanted to get up, smack the distractions out of their hands, and ask them why they thought what they were doing was more important than a Holocaust speaker.

I will not waste any more time writing about the disrespectful few. Because they could not give Greenblat the time of their day, I will not give them mine. Instead, I want to focus on a massive trend my generation has mistakenly indulged ourselves in.

The Greenblat incident is only an example of this phenomenon I find so confusing. From young, it was instilled in me, probably via Chinese tradition, that elders should be respected. It is a title only revoked when unacceptable behavior allows it to be, and is otherwise maintained. I understand that not everybody comes from a background where respect is automatically granted to people. And I see that side of the story.

Why does age automatically warrant respect? It is the fact that they have made it this far, and have interesting stories to tell. There are exceptions, perhaps more than there are inclusions.

But this fact can be determined by the simple act of offering an elderly person your seat on public transportation. Sure, it can be for their health, but within that simple act is a meaningful sacrifice for somebody who has experienced more than you.

Age aside, at Greenblat's talk, majority of the disrespect shown might not have been agist. Instead, it could have been the behavior students just there for the check-in check-out extra credit that multiple classes and clubs were offering. While my teachers who advertised the event stressed the importance of attendance not just for the academic boost, but for the experience, I knew that some of the more distracted students there must have been those selfish, ignorant, solely academic driven cockalorums.

I stay hopeful because majority of my classmates were attentive. We knew to put aside our Chromebooks, regardless of note-taking, and simply listen to what Greenblat had to offer.

It would be wrong to label my generation as entitled— that's a misnomer for the generation before. We are still wavering between the line of automatic respect and earned respect, but we need to set a line for people whom we know the stories of. Especially a Holocaust survivor.

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