As I spend more time in this amazing place, I find myself saying "wow, I wish you were here." I wish you could be here with me, to experience all the wonderful things out here. It's exciting, beautiful, fun, and adventurous. Deciding to come out here was the best decision I ever made, even if it meant being away from you, albeit temporarily.
When I first left, the only thing to bum me out was the thought of being away from you; the thought of you not being able to partake in this grand adventure. While I still miss you, I must admit to myself that in a way, I'm glad you're not here.
I'm glad you're not here because it puts me out of my comfort zone. I'm glad I came here knowing nearly no one, and have been forced to be social. Sometimes it's scary to walk up to people and try to make friends, but here I am doing it. If you were here, of course I would cling to you and ignore these other strangers. Because you're not here, these strangers are now my friends.
I'm glad you're not here because I've been forced to figure things out. It would be much easier to leave you to navigate the airport and the city, to figure out how to book a weekend trip using travel sites, to let you worry about what is too expensive. But since you're not here, it's all up to me. While I still have many things to figure out, the amount of things I have already done astounds me. I have new confidence in my competence as an adult. I can read maps, navigate websites, budget and keep track of my money, and retrace my steps when I get lost.
I'm glad you're not here because I make all the decisions. I laugh a little as I write this. You know how bossy I can be. I like being able to decide what I want to do with my free time, where I want to eat, where I want to go, and when I'm ready to turn in for the night. In a selfish way, I like not needing to compromise with a group of people on the day's itinerary.
I'm glad you're not here because I'm forced to take of myself, at least a little bit. You're not here when I'm sick, or sad, or homesick. It's up to me to calm myself and get back up. Even though this is a skill that very young children learn, I feel that we need to re-teach ourselves when we become adults.
I'm glad you're not here because honestly, you're not holding me back. Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm way out here, and I have the opportunity to take on the highest challenges that I think I can handle. I know you're looking out for me, and don't want me to bite off more than I can chew. I know that you think I can do it, but also look out for my well-being. However, I can't help but think of the song Don't Stop Me Now by Queen. I want to go as far as I can, and if I fall, it'll be okay. I know you'll be there for me. But until then, I'm going to keep reaching. That's why I decided to take all my classes in a different language, a full-time internship in a different language, live with people who speak a different language. And it's that challenge that changing me and making me a better person. I don't have to stop and translate all the time, and can just continue on with my newfound superpower.
I'm glad you're not here because (also selfishly), I'm glad I get to have this experience all to myself. I am building my own set of stories and experiences that only my eyes have seen. Sharing experiences is fun, but honestly there are some that you want to have all to yourself. This is my adventure, and no one can take that from me. I like knowing that I'm not just following around my friends and family from back home. I'm taking my own path for a while.
I'm glad you're not here because I have more room to change. You have known me since I was a kid, better than anyone else. Though you have seen me change over time, I can't help but feel that I'm changing more rapidly than I ever have before. I like knowing that I'm not tethered to who I was here. The people here are meeting me as a new person, and I have been given a blank slate to change myself. It's intoxicating. I can be whoever I want. I can try different things, and decide which changes I will keep. While I do have a strong sense of who I am, a few upgrades and modifications never hurt.
Most of all, I'm glad you're not here because absence makes the heart grow fonder. When I'm away, I appreciate our time together twice as much. If I was home all the time, I'd never realize why home is so special. If I was home all the time, I wouldn't be looking forward to coming back.