How do you know if you’ve done the right thing? How do you do the right thing even if you know it will upset others?

Recently, I found myself in a situation asking these exact questions. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I found myself looking inward to ask what I would want if the roles were changed. It made me recall a time in high school where a friend decided to tell me that someone I was dating was cheating on me. She said she wasn’t sure if she should tell me or not because it wasn’t “her business.”

I’ve always found this excuse to be a way for someone to wriggle out of a morally right thing to do. And unfortunately, when the person, the messenger, decides to spill the beans, they are caught in the line of fire. Why is this? We strive to create and be honest, trustworthy, and morally upstanding people, yet when we’re faced with a situation where we can employ these qualities, we often fall short.

Imagine witnessing a car crash. Even though you were across the street and had nothing to do with the incident, would you lie and say neither was at fault when the first car clearly was? What benefit would that be for either person? In lying, in withholding essential information, you are hurting both parties. We should own up to our misdeeds and learn from our mistakes, otherwise, how else do we grow as individuals and as a society?

So, when the witness of whatever it is decides to come forward with the information they have, they get berated. It wasn’t their fault, they were just trying to do the right thing. This still makes no sense to me. Do we just wish to find someone to blame instead of taking responsibility for our actions? It’s easy, it’s simple, and it requires minimal effort. To sit back and watch people burn is often easier to our minds than becoming an active member in an issue which is not our own.

As I raise my son, I hope to raise him to hold the attributes of honesty, truthfulness, and responsibility in high regard. I hope that if and when he becomes a messenger, he takes pride in it and knows he’s doing the right thing. Even if it ruins friendships or creates stress, he can find solace in the fact that he helped other people find truth and face reality.