Your mid-twenties are an awkward time.

You get to fumble around and figure out adulthood. You realize that you’re nowhere that you thought you would be when you were a kid dreaming of your own place and a picket white fence. For some of us, that dream of the suburbs with the 2.5 kids has changed. Millennials are opting out of the 1950’s-esque American dream and instead choosing studio apartments, condos, and tiny houses.

This general downsizing, also means fewer, if any, children in the equation.

At twenty-four, I am never sure whether I am supposed to be excited when my peers announce they are expecting. Do you feign excitement? My gut reaction is a shocked, “Why?”. Many of us are sharing the same sentiment. I have simply never aspired to motherhood. I have never imagined my perfect children play soccer on my perfectly trimmed lawn. I have imagined traveling abroad extensively, backpacking through mountains, scuba diving, and donating my time and money to better the lives of others.

I do not dislike children. If anything, I dislike the way some parents raise their children. Everyone gets a trophy, no one ever gets a consequence, each of our kids is a perfect snowflake who can do no wrong. I have had people comment death threats on blog or Facebook posts that I have made because I am threatening their innocent minds. We, fortunately, do not live in a Disney princess bubble, and I refuse to censor my writing and my life because some people are too lazy to give a real explanation to how babies are born, or that sometimes grownups curse at other grownups in a grown-up setting. Stop bringing your kids to bars, and they won’t maybe overhear a conversation that they won’t understand anyway.

Kids like me, and I like kids.

I work with and volunteer with kids frequently. I would make an excellent mom. I simply do not want to be a mom. That does not make me selfish. It is selfish to look down at other people (especially women) who do not want kids. Everyone says that “it’s different when it’s your own kid”. Why on Earth would anyone bring a life into this world given the unsolicited advice from an old woman they barely know at some extended family gathering.

I get this argument a lot: “But women are inherently nurturing, and you will always have that empty place in your heart."

I lead a fulfilling life on my own, and I am thankful that I live in a place in the world where I have access to education and the opportunities that I do. There are lots of boss ladies out there who kill it at home and in the work place, and each of us just wants to kill it in our own way.

Let’s stop telling each other the correct way to live life and just love and support one another.