Weary of the title? Don’t be. Bulimia is a real eating disorder that effects thousands of women and men. Bulimia is a mental disorder that skews perceptions of oneself. It consists ofvomiting after eating, binging, and purging. With all of the social media and pressures to beperfect, it’s no wonder why 10% of women, on college campuses, suffer from eating disorders.It’s important to realize 1. It’s not your fault and 2. There is hope.

1. Accept the Problem.

If you are like me, you might not realize you’re sick. My sophomore year of high school iswhen I started purging. I thought to myself, “I’m fine, I can stop whenever I want, I’m not sick.”And I couldn't have been more wrong. Vomiting to lose weight is not normal! It didn't matter if Icould stop myself, the simple act of purging is a problem. My the first step was realizing, “Ohhey, this might be an issue.” People don’t understand how troubled they are until it’s too late.

The more quickly you accept you have a problem, the easier it is to start the healing process.

2. You Don’t Want to Accept The Problem.

No body wants to admit that there is something wrong with them. It’s only natural to hidean eating disorder from the world. Many professionals don’t take eating disorders seriously. I’ve heard everything under the sun. “You’re fine. Just eat. Stop doing that.” THANK YOU for your help (Am I right?). At the end of the day, it comes down to YOU realizing there’s something wrong. Im 5’1 and by the time I hit senior year, I was 89 pounds. That’s when I finally said yes, I have a problem. If you don’t accept your sickness the consequences could be detrimental.

3. Start With Research

I honestly did not know bulimia had such a negative affect on my body. I did my research to figure out how I could help myself. Here’s a couple important things you may not know about the effects of bulimia.

- Bulimia destroys your stomach lining and esophagus. Did you know that your stomach is filled with acid? That’s how our stomach breaks down food. Throwing up stomach acid can burn a hole in your stomach lining and your esophagus.

-The stomach is constantly breaking down food; even when there is no food in your body for it to break down. Eventually, your body will start to break down muscle instead of fats. Have you ever wondered why you see those Tumblr girls made out of bones? They’ve depleted their entire system of fats and proteins. No, photosynthesis is not a thing.

-Also, bulimia can be coupled with other mental disorders. I grew to have anxiety,depression, I was even diagnosed as a psychopath. Bulimia can be the result of these issues and cause these issues.

4. There is a ridiculous amount of health consequences. To list a couple, bulimia can lead to heart attacks. A heart attack at age 18? I had no idea that was even possible. Purging can also lead to stomach cancer, anemia, heart disease, bowel disease, anorexia, and so much more. To phrase it simply, you’re slowly killing your self. It’s safe to say I scared the absolute crap out of myself. I had no idea about the detrimental damage I was doing to my body.

5. You Don’t Want a Counselor.

My parents found out about my problem when they found me in thebathroom. My mom dragged me to an inpatient eating disorder clinic. I was terrified. Why would complete strangers want to help me? They just want your money. So, I threw a fit, swore at the counselor, and that was that. I did not want to be in a clinic by myself. I didn't want to be forced to eat, wearing scrubs, with cold rooms and hospital beds. I decided to make the change for myself. No counselor can make you change. It’s in your head. No physician or medical expertcan do it for you.

6. Now What?

After I stormed out of the clinic, I promised myself that I was going to do everything I could to stop this. It is a long healing process of the mind and the body. So, I asked myself:

- Do I want to end up in the hospital?

- Do I want to be miserable?

- Do I want to die?

I didn’t! Hell no I didn’t. I wanted to be healthy and happy.

7. It’s a Process

You won’t beat bulimia over night. It takes a lot of meditation and slow changes. I started by working on eating small meals each day. It wasn’t normal, but at least I could start keeping my food down. I made sure that I ate in a public place, with my family or friends so that I didn't have any way to sneak away to throw up. I also started to learn how to eat healthy. Despite all of the regimens like Akins Diet, Jenny Craig, and Nutrisystem, diets don’t work. You have to make a conscious lifestyle change. I started to eat healthy. I figured out if I ate correctly I could be skinny AND HAVE ABS. Also, I confided in an adult. I went to a high school english teacher who realized my problem and let me lean on her for support. Surrounding myself with friends helped to. Positivity is contagious. It’s helpful to surround yourself with happy people and people who care about you.

8. BE SELFISH

The most important thing I learned was to be selfish. This is my life! Why was I letting myself ruin it before It even started? Positive mental health is important for a happy lifestyle. Put yourself first. When you make decisions, do them for YOU! Try to ignore the negatives. Unfortunately, a lot of people are naive and don’t understand just how tragic eating disorders are. You are your own biggest cheerleader. Be there for yourself! You are allowed to be your own best friend. Learning how to be comfortable with yourself, even your problems, is healthy living.

9. The Aftermath

I’m now a sophomore in college and I can proudly say I BEAT BULIMIA. It took me until the end of my senior year of high school to completely cut out purging. I just reminded myself that it’s a process. I’m now a healthy weight I eat well, exercise and I don’t run to the bathroom after meals. However, it’s always in the back of my head. Eating disorders are a never ending cycle. The sooner you get help, the better.

I’ve learned to wake up every day and tell myself “I’m a badass princess, and I can do anything.” It helps to have positive reinforcement even if it’s from yourself. If I can beat bulimia you can to!

And, your parents are right, “Can’t never did anything.” While bulimia is a viscous disease to beat, it can be done. You have the key to your own life. Ignore the “fitspo” on Instagram. Ignore the Victoria Secret Angels prancing around in lace. Everyone is built differently. No one-person has the same physical/chemical makeup. That is what is so cool about you, there’s only one! How amazing is it that there is no person on Earth that is just like you. That counts for something.

If you takeaway anything from my story, let it be that you control your destiny. And ultimately, you can heal yourself.