How To Keep Your Head Up In The Hard Parts Of Life

How To Keep Your Head Up In The Hard Parts Of Life

It May Not Be Easy, But It'll Get You Through
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A while ago, I got this question: How do you keep your chin up when life's hard?

To be blunt: you don’t. You wait until you’re alone and then you sink into this stage full of self-pity and filled to the brim with tears, just waiting to push you over the edge and spill out. You wait until you’re not around others so that you don’t show them your weaknesses. Then, you pick yourself back up, even if only a little and carry on like nothing is wrong.

We all (most of us) carry ourselves like nothing is wrong and we’re doing just peachy in life. Everyone focuses on and worries about what they see as wrong with themselves too much to truly pay attention to the minor faults in others. We all have our faults, but it’s a matter of how much you let it weigh you down or keep you from seeing yourself as this shining person who’s fan-freaking-tastic and capable of any/everything they put their mind to.

Keeping your head up is a matter of self-confidence. Confidence in who you are. Confidence in your abilities. Confidence that you can see yourself for what the world sees. That, someone who has no insight into another’s life, can see you for someone who’s confident, strong, and knows what they want in life.

Although, those of us who truly realize the full effort it takes to keep ourselves going know that it isn’t easy. What is easy is to let us hang our heads in defeat, but it’s more about not giving up and proving not just to the world, but to ourselves and showing yourself the being of strength you are.

Don’t keep your chin up only to prove to the world that you’re okay, but keep your chin up to prove to yourself that you are strong enough to get through anything that life throws your way. Keeping your head up IS about self-confidence, yes, but it’s also about how you deal with whatever is in your path and how you overcome it.

Instead of pretending to be okay and keeping our head up as if to deny to ourselves and others that we’re not okay, it’s okay to find a shoulder to lean on and know that you aren’t as strong as you are at your best, but never hang your head in defeat. Never keep your head down, thinking “I can’t do this.” You can and you will.

The obstacles thrown in our path are difficult, but I had it explained to me like this once, “In the moment [of hardship] some hills are seen as mountains, but they’re never really as big as they seem”. Keep pushing through the climb of your own hills and mountains and someday you’ll see the journey you’ve taken and how you got there. While you’re at it, keep your head up so you can see where you’re going and where you’ve been. Life is about looking around you and having the confidence in yourself that you’ll get where you need to be.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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An Open Letter From The Plus-Size Girl

It's OK not to be perfect. Life is more fun that way.

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To whoever is reading this,

My entire life has been a juggling match between my weight and the world. Since I was a young girl every single doctor my family took me to, told me I needed to lose weight. The searing pain of those words still stabs me in the side to this day. I have walked past stores like Hollister and American Eagle since I was 13.

Being plus-size means watching girls the same age as you or older walk into a store that sells the cutest, in style clothing and you having to walk into a store that sells clothes that are very out of style for a young girl. Being plus-size means being picked last in gym class, even if you love sports.

Being plus-size means feeling like you have to suck it in in pictures so you don't look as big next to your friends. Being plus-size means constantly thinking people are staring at you, even if they aren't.

The number on the scale haunts me. Every single time I think about the number I cringe.

Can I just say how going shopping is an absolute nightmare? If you haven't noticed, in almost every store (that even has plus sizes to begin with) plus-size clothing is closed off and secluded from the rest of the store. For example, Forever 21, There are walls around every side of the plus "department."

Macy's plus department is in the basement, all the way in the back corner. We get it that we are not what society wants us to look like but throwing us in a corner isn't going to change the statistics in America today. That being that 67% of American women are plus-size.

My life is a double-digit number being carved into my jiggly arms and thunder thighs. It is me constantly wanting to dress cute but turning to running shorts and a gigantic sweatshirt instead so that people don't judge me on my size.

It is time that the American society stops making plus size look like a curse. It will never be a curse. If every person was the same size, what would be the point of uniqueness? I will never despise who I am because while I was growing up multiple people told me that I needed to be a size 6 in order for a guy to fall in love with me. I will never hate myself for getting dressed up and being confident.

To all the girls reading this who may be plus-size,

It's OK! You're beautiful and lovable. If you want to buy that crop top, buy it. Life is too short to hide behind a baggy T-shirt. We are just as gorgeous as the girls that we envy. Be the one to change the opinion of the world. Fat rolls don't need to be embarrassing. Your stretch marks are beautiful. Don't ever let the world tell you not to eat that cheeseburger either.

In the end, this earthly life is temporary. We are on this earth for a blink of an eye. Don't let anything stand in your way. Wear the bikini, the crop top, and the short shorts. Post the sassy selfie you've had on your phone for 6 months and you won't post because you have a double chin or your head looks "too big." Who cares. BE YOU and love yourself while you're at it.

I'll start.

Cover Image Credit: Victoria Hockmeyer

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You Attract What You Are, Not What You Want

That's the honest truth!

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How many times have we thought to ourselves, "there are no good guys out there. All the good ones are taken." I know I have had my fair share of those thoughts and vent sessions, frustrated that all the guys around me were, to be frank, stupid. Living in a college town, this stupidity only seems to be magnified. The typical college guy, who only cares about alcohol, sex, and making sure they were "satisfied" with no regard to girl's emotions seem to be the only ones around.

Now for most girls, this is not at all attractive, but when it's the only thing around, they give in. It becomes the whole "I'd rather lower my standards and have somebody than be lonely" mentality. However, with this comes even more vent sessions and heartaches about feeling used and wondering what you did for him to ghost you.

First, ladies, remember to set those standards high and keep them there. Second, I want to remind that you attract what you are, not what you want. If you are someone that likes to dress provocatively and show off your body, you are going to attract a man that only wants to use you for your body. If you are someone who involves herself in volunteer work with your church, you will attract a man who loves Jesus and serves others as you do. Not to say that every man that you attract will be like this, but there is a much higher chance you will attract that kind of person because you are that kind of person.

It is the hard truth, but it's one that needs to be said. A while ago I heard a girl talk about how all guys are "pigs" and there are "no gentlemen out there" because they were talking about her body when earlier that day she posted a picture of her in a tiny bikini showing most of her body. I just wanted to tell her what I'm saying now: You attract what you are, not what you want.

If you want a good guy, become the good girl that that good guy deserves. If you want a holy man, realize that a holy man will less likely be attracted to a girl who spends all their time getting wasted at a club four nights a week. If you want a man who respects you, respect yourself and dress like someone who has more to offer than just her body.

Next time you're feeling at a loss for finding any "good guys," think about the person you are, the people you're surrounding yourself with, and if you would want to date a guy with the habits you have. If you wouldn't, then start thinking about how to better yourself for you and for your future man. I promise, when you look inward and begin to improve yourself, you will attract the right people and save yourself the heartache of being with the wrong guys!

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