We grew in a world of non-toxic things.

Crayons, markers, play-dough, finger paints.

We grew up in a world where we didn't really have to worry about the toxic things on our own, because our parents made sure everything was safe for us.

Now, as adults, it is our job to do this for ourselves, in a bigger way.

We left behind the crayons and markers years and years ago (maybe?), forgetting about the toxic or non-toxic products of the past. Now we are forced to turn our attention to the toxicity of the people around us.

We all know the saying "don't judge a book by its cover", and this very much applies to people. Someone may seem to have the best intentions, or the warmest heart, or the kindest soul, but this might not actually hold true. When we want to believe someone, or something, is good for us, we tell ourselves that it is, and ultimately internalize this. We convince ourselves that the good is there, even if it isn't, either because it is easier that way, happier that way, or more comfortable that way.

Sure, those permanent markers might be vibrant and pretty, but they are full of chemicals that will make you sick and sorry.

Similarly, a person might seem great at surface-level, but be full of hidden intentions.

In order to pick out who is good for you and who solely seems good for you, I like to think of it this way. When you are spending time with someone who is wholeheartedly good for you, you will walk away feeling light, and content, and at peace. They'll laugh wit you, cry with you, and everything in between without criticizing your emotions or offering judgment in your weak moments. They'll brighten your dark days and accompany you on your bright days to make them even brighter. They will raise you up, motivate you, and support you, and you won't be left feeling like anything is missing.

When someone seems good, but isn't, there will be something in you that is left feeling discontented. They will offer backhanded compliments that are pretty on the outside but rotten farther in. They will slide in snide remarks that initially come off as harmless until you think about them. In fact, even just feeling like you're supposed to be reading further into everything they say is a red flag on its own. Someone who is good for you will be straightforward and genuine.

If they are bad for you, you will find yourself questioning things. Questioning yourself, questioning your ties with them, questioning your actions. Questioning whether certain things will be "approved" by them or not.

Anyone who leaves you feeling dissatisfied with who you are, what you've done, where you've been or where you're going, or anything of the sort, is not good for you, regardless of how "comfortable" you might be around them. Toxicity hides itself well, and it is great at hiding in people who look the most innocent.

Pay attention to the way people speak. Pay attention to what they place emphasis on, and when. Take note of the people who lie compulsively, about things that don't even matter, just because it puts them one step above you on the pedestal. Don't convince yourself that it is harmless- it isn't. Anything or anyone that you walk away from feeling "less-than" is not harmless.

As soon as you get an inkling that someone is doing you harm, hone in on it. Pay more attention moving forward and see what you uncover. You might find that certain people really aren't the person you thought they were, or you might find that someone is exactly who you thought they were, and that it is time to stop giving them second chances.

Whatever the case may be, look out for yourself. When it comes down to it, the only person who will always, always be there to protect you is you. If you aren't treating yourself right or making sure others are treating you right, you are only allowing yourself to be broken down.

Unfortunately, there will always be bad people. We will always have to deal with liars, and stealers, sneaks, and cheaters. We will always have to deal with people who have bad intentions, whether these intentions are undercover or not. The good news is, the sooner we learn how to identify, acknowledge, and keep distance from them, the better we will be at keeping ourselves save.

Keep your people like your products. Non-toxic.