Admittedly, this article was a 'spur of the moment' decision in writing because of an encounter that I had recently. Before I decide to delve deeper into the subject, I would like to clarify that 'ex' is a generalized term in regards to this article. It doesn't always mean ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend because in this case, it's an ex-friend.

At the beginning of my college career, I was just trying to make friends within the organizations I had joined. He had become one of them once we realized how many things we had in common- even our toxic and terrible attitudes that would raise their ugly heads every once in a while. Everyone hopes for their Romeo or Juliet (or their Jim and Pam to be less morbid)- and no, I wasn't his and thankfully, he wasn't mine. There was an underlying understanding that we were okay with.

Eventually, he did meet his Pam and honestly, they were a perfect match. They still are because they're happily engaged to be married. However when this relationship started growing, he started cutting his friends off one-by-one. The amount of toxicity and hatred behind it all was unimaginable but eventually we all accepted that he was a grown man and he was capable of making his own decisions. We all went on our separate ways and found happiness elsewhere and with other people. This was 2, maybe 3, years ago.

By this time, in the present, we're all happy with our lives. However, there are always bumps in the road and he happened to be one of mine recently. I post things on my social media accounts that highlight my happiness, as most people our age do. We allow people to see what we want them to and usually nothing more. The photos of he and I, our collective friend group, and so on were still on my page because they still represent a happy time for me. He and his fiance' weren't too keen on the idea and asked me to take the photos down and block them both- which I would've done if the conversation had remained civil. So I acted against his wishes because I practically heard my mom whisper on my shoulder, "don't reward bad behavior".

After attacks toward my looks, weight, and even inaccurate remarks regarding my personal and sexual life became a topic of discussion rather than a simple request, the negativity and toxicity of the interaction altered my decisions. Ever since this relationship between he and his fiance' began, his iconic behaviors mirroring a narcissistic sociopath have only grown stronger and nearly invincible. He attacks out of habit when there's no trace of being provoked.

In reference to basic psychology and the usual behaviors of a common bully, he vindictively targeted me in ways that only represent his hatred toward himself. He took all of his pre-existing weaknesses and self-loathing and broadcasted them onto me in attempt to make me just as sad and angry as him. However, I chose to not give him that power.

In a generation that's so focused on self-love and positive vibes, I feel that this interaction specifically made me see the true meaning behind all of these movements and goals. No one can steal your power, your self-love, your truth, without you allowing them to. He tried and failed. You determine your own happiness and fate because only you have the power to do so. Don't grant anyone else even a fraction of that power because they will use it eventually.

Thus, I close with this: don't let an ex (friend or significant other) determine or interrupt your current happiness. They're in the past for a reason and it's only right for them to stay there. Live in the present, prepare for the future, and spread all the love you can.