If you know me, you know that the past few weeks have been just a little bit rough (OK, very rough). We have become so obsessed with making our lives appear perfect to others that we've forgotten what it's like to let others into our lives. So, here's me, letting you into my life.
A few days before my mom got sick, she and I had a long conversation in the car. We talked about college, and I admitted that I was upset that I wasn't "good enough" to get into the top schools in the country. We talked about my last few months of high school and how it had seemed like all the mean girls I'd ever faced were out to get me one last time. And we talked about life, and the future, and my desire to make something of myself and show everyone in this town that I could do it. My mom told me that she only had one request for me: just be happy. Instead of focusing on creating a perfect life, focus on creating a happy one.
Having my family's life be completely flipped upside down has put everything into perspective. So, instead of trying to make it seem like I have a perfect life, I'm going to show that I have a real life.
So, here's me. Here's me still waiting for my first broken heart to heal. Here's me driving 45 minutes one way just to see my mom, and here's me leaving after only an hour because I have to get back home from work. Here's me, terrified that my mom won't be there to see me move into college or shop for my dorm with me, or be there to see me crown a new Sweet Corn Queen. Here's me devastated at the thought of being away from my best friends. Here's me living a life that is not what I thought it would be.
But, here's me heading to a college where I feel at home. Here's me paying for $23,000 of my first year in scholarships. Here's me loving an amazing group of friends that never fail to support me. Here's me with an awesome roommate that I can't wait to live with. Here's me appreciating the girls I work with because they never fail to make me laugh and will always listen to me rant. Here's me, taking it one day at a time. Here's me, trying to always feel the way I felt in this picture. Here's me, just being happy.