"No matter how good it gets, it's never good enough."
No matter how softly I gaze upon the rough edges of a night's weight full of past regrets, I still manage to plunder in a moment of weakness. 8,030. That is how many days I've lost my life to the soul sucking slips of an unquenchable sadness. A desert storm has brewed within, quivering behind shutters with each eye's wink. Maybe today, I always declare, will be the day that I stray away from this familiar discomfort. And if I am not one to brave the beast within, maybe today will be somebody else's day to win. It's a reckless sin, an abject tragedy, that all this time has just ceaselessly caressed itself against the iron rusted clock. Wasted? Maybe, but time just keeps ticking, entrapping all its victims in immobile spaces. Maybe I bit off more than I could chew and for that, I ache in woes. But for as much as this sadness has taken from me, I've taken from it too, just enough to keep me going, just enough to keep me idling passing by. And with all my sorrows thoroughly rooted in the unkept promise of yet another tomorrow, I pray that maybe today will be the day.
We are always here, vying in life or death, forever within this moment for as much as we can feel without it. The sun keeps us all spinning, yet even the biggest star in our universe has its days to hide behind the clouds. When I was younger, I believed that whenever it rained it meant that God and its angels were crying. I learned that tears contained magical-like healing properties that washed away all the bad to make the next day better. Now I don't know what to believe because the possibilities are endless. We all face our inevitability, but in some other universe, immortality does exist. With life everlasting, what ceases to be exceptional in spite of all its wondrous beauties is our tireless experience. And as the tears fall down from the sky, I may cry with the angels up above so that tomorrow may be better, if not for me than maybe for you! The sadness never really goes away, you just get "better" at dealing with it. There is never enough time to count up the moments lost, for it is worthier to have hope for the moments that have yet to come. A quick embrace might be all we really need to help us make it through. They say the grass is not always greener on the other side. But if you are in between, you get the best of both worlds.
Life is full of many meanings, even if you are blind to them. It is in your interpretation of whatever this experience means to you that will hopefully power you enough to keep going. Even if you are unable to make amends with yourself, you are the only one with the power to make a change, the main difference between the here and the now. The best part is that you get to choose, so choose wisely.