Social media is my friend, believe me. It has great perks, but sometimes we don't get along. Some days, it makes me laugh and smile with funny memes or it reminds me of great memories of the past. But other days, it makes me wonder if some of the choices I made in my life were the wrong ones. You see, throughout my life, I've always had a difficult time fitting in or finding my rhythm in life somewhere. I know a few personality traits cause me to be a bit different from the majority of society (a Christ-follower, a strong independent woman, and an introvert who hates being alone). That last one feels like an oxymoron actually. But even though God has helped me love myself and love being different, I often look around me and wonder why I continue to long to fit in. I know I don't want to be the same as people and fit in, in that sense. However, even those who are different, tend to find a group of people with whom they mesh or find a rhythm to their life.

I see it everyday. Old friends from my hometown going on trips together, work friends hanging out, old church friends going on double dates, and a lot of friends getting married and finding married friends. Frankly, social media causes me to see this even more, on a daily basis.

I have friends. Wonderful, caring, hilarious, selfless friends. But believe me when I tell you that even with the most amazing friends, it's still possible to feel out of place. I don't know if the reason for my choice to move away is being persuaded by my longing to find a place to mesh. It might be. It might not be. The only thing I know is it feels right and God is blessing this decision. And that's all I can do for now.

It might sound like it to some people who read this that I feel lost or that I need to go find who I am and where my place is in life. That's not the case. I am very confident in who I am. I love who I am, which is a very important part of life. I've made it through a lot of obstacles to get to where I am. I am ready to go through others. I've just felt like that puzzle piece that looks like it belongs in a spot, but you try to place it there, you push as hard as you can, and it is just not working. There is a place for that piece. A place that makes that piece shine with all the others. And without that piece, the picture just isn't as beautiful.

Maybe God knows my desire to find my rhythm. Maybe he wants me to toss aside rhythm and live life off key and out of tune (that sounds like a struggle bus). But a part of me, in this season of my life, is hoping I will find some rhythm in Austin. The only thing I do know is that even when I miss my friends and start imagining myself in a different life or picturing what something would have or could have been, I've made all my decisions for a reason and with God's help. Going backwards to pursue something that isn't mine, but is someone else's, is not the answer.