I consider myself to be a nice person. I love to talk. I love to meet new people. I just have one of those personalities that I have never met a stranger. Honestly, I would probably talk to a brick wall if it would talk back.

My bachelor’s degree is in Communication Studies which is very similar to psychology in a lot of different aspects. I spent a good chunk of my undergraduate career learning about people and their different behaviors and why people do the things they do. We touched on this on numerous different levels. With that being said it is in my nature to constantly want to figure people out. I love observing people and I love the psychology behind the human mind.

But here’s the thing: Being the nice, chatty, fun, bubbly person that I am, has often had me mistaken. I cannot begin the count the number of times that I have had a conversation with a male, whether it be at the gym, on Facebook, or even at school that I had been mistaken for flirting. This has happened with both men and women that happened to be gay. So, if that is how society is going to respond, who CAN I talk to? If males and females both accuse me of flirting and can’t have a conversation with me without it being considering more, I guess I can’t talk to anyone.

I don’t know when being nice actually became flirting, but I feel this mindset should stop. I’ve been in a long-term relationship for a relatively long time so I haven’t been into the new dating scene in while, but maybe somewhere along the lines people stopped actually flirting.

I consider flirting as in giving compliments, or hell, let’s just be straightforward and ask someone out on date. When I was younger, there was a difference between flirting and being nice. It was okay to have conversations with the opposite sex and neither would think anything about it. Regardless, my point is that I feel like I should be able to be nice to people without them thinking I have other motives. Maybe other girls don’t talk to you at all. Maybe you aren’t used to having female friends. I don’t care. That is not my fault.

This should not be society’s norm. This has happened to me far too many times, and I know other people that is has happened to as well. Apparently, for this day and age, flirting is considered as beating around the bush and dropping subtle hints. I guess people just tend to do it all nonchalant these days and try to let the other person figure them out.

I don’t play games. I am not subtle. I don’t beat around the bush. It is a shame that I have to worry about being nice to someone simply because I am a nice person and I am afraid they may think more. If I like you for more than a friend, there will be no questions asked and there will be no doubt. Trust me, you would know. Also, if I speak to you when I am taken, that should be more the enough reason for you to know that I would have less than zero interest in you. Let’s change our mindset people. It’s okay to be nice to other people without flirting and without being attracted to them.