Your parents are supposed to be your best friend right?
Well as for many kids that was not the case for me. When I was a child I had an abusive father and a mother who chose him over me and would do it again in a heartbeat. But the sentence you just read did not stop me from graduating high school or moving forward in my life without them.
My childhood was hell and for many years I felt I had no way out of it. I grew up in a family that seemed to be perfect and had everything but what many people didn't know was my father was an angry person and he took all of his frustration out on me. He was an over the road truck driver so I spent most of my days not around him and I was thankful for that. But the two weekends a month that he was home were the worst two weekends of my life. My mother, on the other hand, was my best friend as a little girl. I loved her with every part of me but when I started to realize that what was going on was not okay I started to distant myself from her.
In twenty-thirteen I had a sit-down talk with my mother and told her what was going on even though she already knew. She looked at me in my face and told me to get out of her house. It was December and night time but she still kicked me out. I put my boots on and walked about a mile to my best friends house. I decided that it was time to come out with the truth. I told her mom what was going on and all I could see was the shock on her face. I was so scared but I knew deep down this was the right thing to do. The authorities were called and after a two-week investigation, I was sent back home.
About three weeks later that was the day I first tried to kill myself. I thought I had no other way out except taking my own life. I was found in time and taken to the hospital and then checked into a psychiatric hospital. I kept trying to tell everyone there about what I was going through at home but no one would listen to me. I was eventually sent back to live with my parents and I gave up on trying to get out of the environment I was in. I eventually went into a downward spiraling depression and my parents no longer wanted to deal with me.
In July of twenty-fourteen while I was staying in a hospital to get more help with my mental health my parents kicked me out. They refused to pick me up from the hospital because they claimed I was too much for them to handle. The state had to get involved and I had to be put in foster care. Imagine being in a psychiatric hospital away from friends and then being told that you could be moved anywhere in the state. Don't get me wrong I was happy to be getting out of the abusive environment but I was scared to be away from my friends. A month later I was moving into a foster home only twenty minutes from my friends. I was beyond happy to be able to stay close to my friends but far enough away from my parents.
A year or so later I found myself not being able to grow into the person I wanted to be at the home I was at. I had just turned sixteen and took the chance of asking to be moved into a home of a family friend that my parents could not stand. I got what I wanted but it also took away the relationship I was building back up with my mother. I was devasted for the longest time but then grew to realize it was her lost. If my own mother could not accept that I wanted to grow myself and felt this was the only way then she was never a relationship I needed.
I tell this story with chills still going down my spine but because of the choices I have made and the toxic parents I cut out I am currently a freshman in college. I am also a huge advocate for sexual assault/abuse survivors and mental health. What I want readers to take away from all of this is we all need to be our own biggest supporter and even if the people closest to you can't support decsions you think will be best for you than thats okay.
At the end of the day the only person who truly will always one hundred percent be there for you is you.