My Journey With My Mental Health

My Journey With My Mental Health

I am going to be totally honest about my life because there is no reason to hide who I am anymore.
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Everything seemed to happen so fast. If I kept things at the rate they were going I would be going down the road to suicide. I know that is harsh to hear but it is true for years I was going down the wrong path. Let me take you back a bit.

It started in high school, Junior year to be exact, I was 17. It should have been a great year; with prom, football games, and everything else high schoolers enjoy. Not me, I just wanted to be alone. Home life was a mess. I got to the point I would have been so depressed. I would put more effort into school, all night doing homework or studying since I wasn't sleeping. It finally got to the point I couldn't take the abuse and mental pain from being at home.

I decided physical pain would be better.

Soon it was an addiction to self-mutilation. Scarring up any part of me I could easily hide away. This went on for months until someone found out. It's like my secret was out that I NEVER wanted to be out. After that I was sent to treatment for the first time, I was only there for three weeks and hated it. Away from family, friends, and school. When I was finally out everyone thought I was better, but I wasn't. I still did good in school, but at home, I was under content watch dragging me into more of a dark depression.

Senior year, started off great. I actually loved my classes. This year where I told myself I would do anything in my power to do the best I can to make sure my grades were perfect. And in the beginning they were; I was nailing my grades. With “A's” and “B's,” I wouldn’t take any "Cs." To me, that was failing and not acceptable. So that’s what I did; I studied harder than ever. And I started seeing the difference in my grades; they were improving. This went on for months, and my grades were still on point.

But what wasn’t on point was my health. My health was going down the drain. I chose to deal with family problems in an unhealthy way again. I started to isolate myself from everyone again, and my anxiety was at an all-time high and panic attacks started to happen daily. I couldn’t take it anymore, and the only people I could talk to about it were four hours away. So whenever there was a break I went to Ohio. So Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring break I was in Ohio with my aunt and uncle.

But things were still not great, my health was going downhill, to where I started to not eat. This gave me more time to do my homework and keep up with my studies. So for months, I was restricting and for months I was in denial about my eating disorder. The whole time I kept thinking I was the one in charge. Not eating was all I thought about. I didn’t care about the fact that I didn’t have any friends. All I cared about was making it through another day without eating. I was hungry at first but after a while, I got used to it. And I liked having the extra time to study and the more I thought about it, well if I don’t need lunch, then maybe I don’t need breakfast or dinner either. And it kind of became a new project for me: to see how long I could go without eating any food. I didn’t want anyone to see me the way I see myself. So after a long time of being in denial. I got help. On February 5th after school, I packed my things and went to Ohio.

The next day, I had an orientation with New Beginnings Eating Disorder Center, and they told me I could start on Monday. So that’s what I did for the next six weeks. I went to treatment three days a week for 11 hours a week. I hated art therapy. So while I was doing that I did as much school work as I could. I got all ahead in my online classes, but I got behind in English and senior seminar.

After graduation, I packed my bags and moved to Ohio, with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. This is when I started attending Cleveland State University. At the time I was commuting back and forth from school and home. So since I was only going to classes twice a week, the rest of the week I was working at Kohls. My first semester on campus, to tell you the truth, I didn't do much. I didn't get involved, I kept to myself, and focused on school. Leaving that first semester with a 3.0 GPA.

The second semester came fast, and I was so excited to be back at CSU. This time I was packing my bags yet again, but this time, I was staying in a dorm.This is when, I told myself, I was going to get more involved and that is what I did.

I got the chance to join a fraternity on campus: Phi Sigma Pi Honors Fraternity. I took that chance and was inducted. I met so many new people I now get to call brothers and I am so happy I joined. Phi Sigma Pi has taken me out of my comfort zone. I made friends, I did fundraisers, I even got pied in the face. They are now like a giant family, that I love having around.

The second year of college came so fast and I thought I was ready to conquer that. Classes started ok I was getting good grades and I was working at the library which I loved, but something changed.

I started going to the gym more and then counting calories and weighing myself and lastly instead on going to the dining hall I would go to the gym for a few hours skipping meals. People started to see a weight loss and I loved it. A relapse started to form and it started to affect my schooling. I did end up getting on academic suspension, I was a wreck and everything was falling apart.

I ended up moving back to Michigan and took a semester off and found a job. I am back in school and doing very well last semester I made Deans List. I am happy at where I am now. I have gained so much confidence it's radiant. I have found when I am confident I feel sexy and when I feel sexy there is nothing that I can't do.

Cover Image Credit: Laura Wright

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These Are 4 Proven Ways That Vaccines Cause Autism

Stock up on those essential oils.

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Let's just start with the first (and main) point.

1. They don't.

Susan in your anti-vax group is not a scholarly source (despite her hours and hours of Google research).

2. But in case you still believe Susan...

Maybe you'll believe Autism Speaks who says, "Scientists have conducted extensive research over the last two decades to determine whether there is any link between childhood vaccinations and autism. The results of this research is clear: Vaccines do not cause autism."

3. And if Autism Speaks still didn't convince you...

Feel free to take a look at this comprehensive list of studies that all say that there is no relationship between vaccines such as the MMR vaccination and the development of autism.

4. But here's what you should know...

There have been a few studies lately that have shown that autism develops in utero aka before a baby is even born AND before a baby can even receive vaccinations.

Vaccinations have prevented COUNTLESS deaths and illnesses. Vaccination rates are continuing to fall and do you know what that means? Measles will make its way back. Whooping cough will come back. Rubella, mumps, and polio will come back and there will be no way to stop it.

So, now that you know that vaccines do not cause autism, you're welcome to go tell Susan from your anti-vax group that as well as tell her that the Earth isn't flat. But, don't forget to mention it to her that her essential oils and organic foods are not keeping her children safe from the measles or tuberculosis.

Vaccinate your children. And, besides, even IF vaccinations caused autism, wouldn't you rather have a child with a developmental disorder rather than a child who died from the measles?

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The 5 Types of Retail Customers

A run-down on the many forms of customers you either encounter as a retail employee or are guilty of being.

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We all get summer jobs or seasonal jobs at some place to get that extra cash when we find ourselves broke after spending $300+ on Ubers/Lyfts in under a month (possibly speaking from personal experience). This in turn led me to broaden my job searching horizons and led me to work at a fast food chain that goes by the name of 'Salsaritas' (ironic since my nickname is Salsa, also was not intentional) and currently a retail store at a local mall. So, I guess it's safe to say that I have come across a lot of different people with a whole lot of personality. Working in these types of industries, it can sometimes be really hard and pretty interesting. So voila, here we go:

1. The Always Angry Customer

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This is the customer that is constantly angry. They walk in pissed off and they want everyone else to know that they are pissed off. This type of customer also uses at least one of these following sentences: "Let me talk to your manager. Who's your manager?" or the "How long have you been working here for?" Honestly, there's not much you can do to help them other than try to just do what they ask for and get them the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

2. The Messy Customer

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Easily one of the most annoying types of customers (sorry). This person will walk and run their hands through an entire counter or rack full of perfectly folded clothes, unfold them, and then just leave them on the counter or on the floor. They also have the "it's fine, it's their job to fold them" mentality. Honestly though, how hard is it to put a jacket or shirt back on a hanger? And if you're this type of customer please, please, please, put what you found back where it came from. Sincerely, every retail employee ever.

3. The Super Nice Customer

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This customer is god-send and thank god that they exist. They are the ones who you can just tell are genuinely good people. New at work and don't know how the hell to ring up a customer at a register? No worries, they'll wait there patiently, smile at you, and occasionally tell you that "you're doing great sweetie." They treat you like you're not just a retail employee and at the end of the day, you just wanna give them a hug for making your day feel less shitty.

4. The Talkative Customer

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There's two parts to this one. This type of customer is either talking on the phone while you're ringing them up at the register or is just trying to get to know literally everything there is to know about you. If they're on the phone, it's impossible to know if they're responding to you or to the person who they're on the phone with. The worst part is when they hold up one finger to signal to you that they'll be just a minute and leave you to just awkwardly stand in front of them while trying not to listen to their entire conversation. The other part is when they just want to get to know you which is cute and all until they're just trying to analyze your entire background, where you're from, what you're studying, etc. Luckily if you're like me who wasn't born in the U.S. with a very ethnic name, you just scored yourself a talkative customer. Well done and good luck getting out of the conversation!

5. The Last Minute Customer

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Imagine that you just did an 8 hour shift and right when you're about to clock out and head out to go home, you see a customer walking in literally a minute or two before the whole mall is about to close. They'll probably ask you if you're about to close even though they can see that there's not a single person inside there other than you. They'll also probably tell you that they know exactly what they're looking for. It's never true and get ready for that OT. But hey, on the bright-side, you'll get a fat pay-check.


So, the next time you find yourself at a mall...Remind yourself to pick up something you might've accidentally dropped, keep in mind that workers are human beings too, and kindness goes a long way because at the end of the day, that employee could be one of your loved ones.

Until next time,

Salsa.


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