The New Breed Of Florida Man
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The New Breed Of Florida Man

When we use to laugh at the headlines of the crazy antics of the Florida Man.

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The New Breed Of Florida Man
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Everyone knows the legend of "Florida Man." If you haven't here are some of the news items that made the phrase popular; "Florida Man parks his car in his kitchen during a hurricane." "Florida Man is arrested for getting his pet alligator drunk." This is one of the entertaining parts of living in Florida and seeing these headlines in the media regularly. It is a natural sighting like living in Wyoming and sightings of "Big Foot."

According to Wikipedia, "popularized when the phrase "Florida Man" is taken from various unrelated news articles describing people who hail from or live in Florida. Internet users typically submit links to news stories and articles about unusual or strange crimes or events occurring in Florida, particularly those where Florida Man is mentioned in a headline. The stories call attention to Florida's supposed notoriety for strange and unusual events."

Recently, the media has reported on a new breed of Florida Man. In the past several years the sunshine state has had some bizarre sightings, but now we have a new breed. These Florida Men are coming from the political stage. Who you might ask?

My first selection of the new breed of Florida Man is Joel Greenberg. He is the former Seminole County Tax Collector that is currently residing in the Orlando jail. His bond was revolted when he left the county and ended up at his in-law's residence to see his estranged wife That is a Florida Man sighting for sure. Greenberg does not have a Wikipedia page, so I can't tell you his education or political background. He was listed on LinkedIn when he was elected as the county's tax collector as an entrepreneur that has new and inventive was to streamline the system and save the county money.

Greenberg is indicted for embezzling more than $400,000 from Seminole County. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. The new allegations include bribery, child sex trafficking, identity theft as well as using a county credit card to purchase autographed memorabilia of sport stars Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. As the investigate dug deeper into the maleficence of this hack they learned of his friendship with another Florida Man.

My second selection is the Florida Republican Representative Matt Gaetz. Gaetz has been a close friend of Greenberg for years. There is a photo circulating in the media of Greenberg, Gaetz, and Roger Stone. Yes, that Roger Stone, the name that idolized President Nixon so much he has his face tattooed on his back. This week Gaetz was a topic of a New York Times article that states he is being investigated by the FBI for child trafficking.

He tried to use the bait and switch or wag the dog tactic and went on the Tucker Carlson show and insinuated his innocence by commenting that he was with Carlson and his wife two years ago with this adult in New York City having dinner. Carlson did not recall the meeting and in a leap of reality stated after the interview that it was the strangest interview he ever did. That says a lot for the shock jock.

Gaetz has insisted is a gentleman and isn't a crime to buy an airplane ticket or hotel room for a female guest. However, recently the media has reported during his time on the house floor Gaetz has shown pictures on his phone of nude women he has paid to have sex with. It has also been reported that staffers are told not to associate with Gaetz and do not take a photo with him.

He insists the women he associated with are adults, and then he went as far as to say his family is being blackmailed over this investigation. Personally, I think his millionaire father tried to bribe the FBI when he learned of his son's investigation and used a wire to record, only to fail at the attempt and it is unraveling in prime time. The whole thing reeks of a wanna-be Trumpster that doesn't have his own personal "Roy Cohn" to fix his bad image.

My third selection of the new breed of Florida Man is the new resident in Mar a Largo that has Florida Man stained on his tanning booth skin. As he continues to play havoc on the politics with the republican party, he will eventually come out from behind the shield of the pancake bar of his private club and carry his pet alligator into the nearest 7-Eleven for a cold Coke and an over-cooked hot dog. His legal problems seem to be mounting daily and he is having a hard time finding a real lawyer to represent him. I can see the headline now, "Florida Man has billions of dollars in legal fees, tries to sell Air Force One to pay his debts."

It won't be long before he starts his own website or news station. I just wonder what organization will be willing to provide him this service he needs to go live. Maybe he should name it "Florida Man."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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