It's no secret that every student at Florida State is pretty butt hurt about Jimbo Fisher's sudden departure as head coach. Let's face it, I'm going to have trust issues for the rest of my life because of this, Jimbo, so thanks a lot. Have fun in Texas pretending to be a cowboy in your boots, P.S. they are tacky af. Anyway, as I was thinking about how rude it was of him to just drop us like that, I thought of all the people I would rather have as a head coach than him, so here they are.
1. Ellen DeGeneres.
2. Tim Tebow.
3. Jimbo's ex wife.
4. Michael Scott.
5. Big Bird.
6. Mariah Carey (only while singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" though).
7. Melania Trump.
8. Chrissy Teigen.
9. a Kardashian (literally any one of them will do).
10. my cat Snickers.
11. Olo Moe (seriously I would pay so much to see that).
12. Morgan Warmack.
13. Beyoncé.
14. Kevin Hart.
15. my Grammy.
16. Ms. Killings.
17. Tyra Banks (while smizing).
18. Sharkeisha.
19. Schmidt from "New Girl."
20. Willie Taggart (let's do this thing Willie!)
I could go on for days, but you get the gist. Jimbo did us dirty, so we are moving on to bigger and better things without him. I for one am very excited to see what lies ahead for the Florida State football team with Willie Taggart as our new head coach. As always, go Noles!