Jealousy In A Relationship

please, be like my grandparents, and stop being jealous little goblins In Relationships

I mean, who wants to be with a crazy, possessive jerk?

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Jealousy is one of the worst qualities a person can possess. Jealousy causes tantrums, obsession, and extremely unhealthy personality changes. With that being said, why would anyone want to bring jealousy into their relationships?

I've found that jealousy has become a popular trend in my generation's relationships, which has caused me to stay away from dating. After years of watching friends get together and break up with partners, I've realized that jealousy is often worn like a medal of honor. Basically, if a partner is jealous, that means he or she really loves you and is terrified to lose you.

Well, let me tell you that this way of thinking is completely ridiculous.

Being a jealous person means that you've got some serious self-confidence issues that need to be resolved ASAP. First of all, in order to be in a relationship, you need to have confidence and love yourself. If those two things are hard for you, you need to take some time off from dating to reevaluate yourself and your mindset. You can't expect people to love you if you don't love yourself.

Secondly, if the thought of your partner running off with another person is constantly bothering you, perhaps you should take a moment to really look at your relationship. Does the person you're with often flirt with other people? Does he or she like seeing you angry? If not, the problem most likely resides within yourself. It all goes back to self-confidence.

A confident person doesn't see other people as a threat to their relationship. No, the cashier that smiles at your partner isn't planning to steal them away. No, the professor that your partner sees for extra help is not trying to make them theirs. In fact, I'm sure less than 1% of the people you meet are actually thinking about your partner.

Dealing with my own crazy jealous ex-boyfriends, I wondered if finding someone with a normal mindset was even possible. I do, however, have a great relationship to model my own from. My grandparents had a fantastic, jealousy-free relationship. Their relationship was fueled by trust and respect for one another. My mom recalls how my grandma used to gush over old boyfriends of hers and my grandpa would simply listen, not giving a damn what she had to say about them because he was with her now, and she wasn't going anywhere.

So please, be like my grandparents, and stop being jealous little goblins.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Ghosting Is Not Only Annoying, It’s Childish—Get Your Act Together And Respond

It's time to stop ignoring conversations.

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The term ghosting is defined as the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. (Also, how sad is it that it actually has coined definition.) Whether you are ignoring your co-worker, friend, tinder match, mom, I can guarantee you that everyone, at least once, has ghosted on someone.

And it's understandable. That's how our society is built now. If you don't like something, you stop using it and move on to something else. If you don't want to be in a conversation, you ignore it and move to the next conversation. But when you begin to do that with every conversation, you are no longer communicating. You're just being childish.

Ghosting is easy because if you don't like how the conversation is going, you can just exit out of your messaging app and pretend it never happened. But the problem is that the other person that's involved with that conversation can't pretend like it never happened. The intention behind the ghosting is still there. Whether you are mad at that person, feel uncomfortable, or just don't want to listen what the other has to say, the receiving communicator will still know what you're feeling because you can't think of a response. The "ghoster" just couldn't face their issues and decided to hide behind a screen. And that's infuriating. If you can't handle the responsibility or responding, you shouldn't be able to start a conversation at all.

Of course, it's easier said than done, but we need to get back into the habit of finishing conversations. We need to be able to face our problems and know how to communicate them to others. We need to understand true interaction if we want to be able to have a real relationship with other people. So stop being annoying. Stop being childish. Respond.

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