I wanted life to be like a Fifth Harmony music video

I wanted to giggle over popcorn

Do each other's hair

Talk about boys

Little did I know that

That thing I wanted so bad was a manufactured idea probably created by men

That would later evolve to yes empower women but also to appeal to the male gaze

I wanted my life to be like a Fifth harmony video

That's why I stayed with a group of girls who may not have treated me the best

Led by a girl who was not the nicest

I hoped eventually they'd come around to me

I hoped one of them- didn't matter which one- would invite me over to her house

I don't even remember what I wanted us to do once we got there

Whatever normal girls did

I was too young to realize that my idea of "normal"

Was really a heightened version of reality

That not even Fifth Harmony themselves experienced

Watching interviews of them

They did not get along

They snarked at each other, yelled at each other, bit at each other

Their real dynamic was more realistic to what I was going through

Than the fake show they put on in music videos

It's occurring to me now that normal girls, not all, but a good amount often hate their friends

They treat them with passive aggression

They stay "friends" with someone they may not like

Because everyone else seemingly likes them and without them they would be "bored"

"Bored". You'd submit your will to someone who'd throw you away once you cease to benefit them...just to avoid being "bored"?

Are you that uncomfortable being by yourself that you'd stand by while they're mean to someone you love...to avoid being "bored?"

I mean, I don't blame you.

I used to be like you.

Because I thought that's what it took to get that "normal life" I was craving.

But you know what's better than a normal life?

One with honor. One with integrity.

One that you'd be proud to look back on years from now

One you'd be happy to tell your parents about, your future children, your eventual real friends who see the best in you.