I want to start off by saying that I am, by no means, in any sense, under any definition, a fashionista. I, like many others, blindly follow the do's and don'ts of fashion from top fashion designers like Chanel, Tom Ford, Valentino, and Balenciaga. I eat up their couture designs that have been streamed through the filters of high-level department stores and boutique chains until I, the lowly common man, receive the cheaply made, polyester versions.

Still, my wardrobe consists mostly of plain jeans, black t-shirts, and oversized hoodies. I am a poor college student and as much as I would like to shop at Nordstrom and Barney's, I mostly stick to Forever 21, Target, and H&M. So do I really have any authority to speak on this matter? No, not really. But do you know what I do have? Eyes.

I have two wonderful, magnificent eyes that let me see what is and isn't ugly. And, quite frankly, I can tell you that the 'high fashion' Balenciaga Men's Triple S Sneakers are magnificently offensive to the eyes. Look:

WHAT IS THAT?! For the first time in my life, I genuinely want to scream: "What are those!!!!???"

IT GETS WORSE THE MORE YOU LOOK. And you know what the kicker is? They cost $850. Yep, that's right! For the low price of $850 you can look exactly like your middle school nightmares!

Listen, I get it, I understand that we are moving into a fashion era that channels the late 90's and early 00's mixed with literally every other era (60's, 70's, 80's, with some alien/futuristic vibes) , but could we at least stop pretending to think that these sneakers, the same sneakers your dad wore when he took you to Disney world when you were 5, are cool?

We are transforming into a 90's dads. Seriously, I googled 90's dad and this picture came up:

That and the Balenciaga Triple S sneakers are basically the same shoe. And you know what freaks me out even more? That outfit is straight up in style now.

Please, guys, I beg of you, do not let this trend happen. I just can't take it. I understand that you might see Bella Hadid wearing dad shoes and looking awesome but, please do not let this become a trend. WE DO NOT HAVE TO BLINDLY ACCEPT THIS FOOT ATROCITY AS HIGH FASHION.

Why should we wear a shoe that looks like the designer said: "Haha what a great joke." I mean, c'mon guys. We made fun of our dad's for wearing these shoes for years. Do you really want to give your dad the satisfaction of seeing you wear the same shoes he wore to embarrass you when he took you to the mall to get your ears pierced at Claire's? The same shoes that you would hide in the garage just so he couldn't wear them in public? The same shoes you ASSURED yourself would never come back in style?

I'm all for a sneaker trend. Sneakers replacing heels? Hell yeah. But these clunky, nightmare-inducing, epitome of the word 'ironic' sneakers is not where it's at. They're just plain ugly.

Balenciaga designer, Demna Gvasalia, said: “I think it’s very interesting, the definition of ugly. I think it’s also very interesting to find this line where ugly becomes beautiful or where beautiful becomes ugly. That’s a challenge I like. I think that’s a part of what fashion stands for and I like that people think my clothes are ugly; I think it’s a compliment.”

OOooooOOOoooh, how deep. I guess there's no better way than to defend designing ugly clothes than by saying 'that's the point.'

Quite frankly, I'm disappointed in you Balenciaga. I cry out in anger at this blemish you've decided to call fashion.

Like I said, I'm not a fashionista. I'm sure if Anna Wintour hasn't condemned this trend, then it's a green light for everyone who wants to give it a go. I, however, respect my feet.