This week as I was walking back from my chorus class I found myself a little discouraged. I've been involved with music for as long as I can remember, singing in groups at churches and school, even taking voice lessons. However, now that I am in college, the choir I am in is at a higher level, and I had been feeling like I was in a little over my head. Sure I sing, but I am in a class full of singers. I was surprised when I heard myself make this distinction, by definition a singer would be a person who sings right? Yet, for some reason, I don't consider myself a singer. I began to really listen to my internal dialogue throughout the day, catching myself making this clarification frequently. I said things like "I write" instead of "I am a writer." After a closer examination of this type of speech, I almost wondered if I was selling myself short, if what I initially thought was humility and reality was really insecurity. These minor modifications in the way we speak about ourselves could have more implications than we even realize.

My mom has always encouraged me to speak to myself the way I would to a friend, saying that I am my own worst critic. I wouldn't tell my friend they are looking beautiful, I would tell them that they are beautiful. I am starting to wonder if the way we speak to ourselves and see ourselves affects how others address us and perceive us. If you state with confidence that you are an artist you will be. We should not shy away from what we are, that is only taking away from the truly amazing puzzle that all our little pieces add up to be. We are never slow to say, "I am lazy" or "I am so stupid." The way we speak to ourselves can be abusive and though these might just be expressions of frustration, I truly believe this negativity is only further internalized and harms our confidence and self image as well as the version of ourselves we let others see. In revising these negative statements to be more forgiving and empowering, we will learn to accept ourselves fully and experience true self compassion. Be gentle with yourself, we are all flawed. Remember, if you were talking to a loved one, would you speak to them this way? In presenting yourself with self confidence and self love, you will attract love and confidence back, you will be taken seriously. Present yourself as a singer because you are, do not allow yourself to be seen as anything less because you are feeling insecure. Speak to and about yourself with confidence and affection and it will begin to come naturally.

I challenge you to listen to that voice inside your head. Really reflect on these questions: How do I see myself? How do I speak to myself? Do I treat myself better or worse than I would treat others? How do others see me? How do others speak to me? Learn to change those negative statements to more mild and loving ones, learn to be your own advocate and show off what you are good at. We all have room to improve, but when we start looking at ourselves with confidence, opportunities will open up and growth will come more naturally. You are a writer, or singer or artist or musician, take yourself seriously. Be your own biggest fan, and I bet pretty soon, others will too.