As I’m sure most of my fellow Class of 2016 seniors are doing, I have begun to thoroughly reflect on the past three years of college.

Thousands of memories have flooded my mind, including those ranging from the insignificant and ludicrous alcohol-induced incidences that defined freshman year, to the various interactions and inside jokes I had with the people I now call my roommates and my best friends. This reflection has mainly been accompanied with a heart-warming sense of nostalgia; however, I did have a not-so-comforting realization. Though I have never really been apologetic for who I am, nor been one to hide my true personality, I recognized that I have let others genuinely dictate and mold my college experience thus far into something that wasn’t completely my own.

From the beginning of freshman year, I have veered from my instincts, personal preferences, unique, and really defining qualities to ensure that I would fit in on campus and not be viewed in the eyes of my peers as weird or too different. I wanted so badly for others to like me that I did everything that seemed to fit the status quo. Almost on a daily basis the same questions would both loom in my mind and sometimes be posed aloud to my friends, “Is it bad to miss this party?”, “Will I look weird if I wear this?”, or “Should I send this text to him or will he think I’m absolutely insane?” I forfeited several opportunities to get involved on campus and do not feel as though I was able to reach my full potential and expand my horizons out of fear that others would judge me for the activities that I partook in. (This is the first time I’m publishing an article and partaking in writing clubs at Colgate, so cheers to progress!)

Now that my time in college is almost complete, I have realized how much these thoughts have affected my experience at college including relationships with peers, friends and those beyond friendship, my social life, and career path as well. Well, it is time for that to change. It is time to live life on my own terms and just completely stop caring. Do I really care if the students in late-night senior seminar think I am sloppy because I show up sans makeup and in my most grotesque sweatpants even though I am most comfortable and therefore most productive? Does it really matter if I decide to join a club at school where I do not know a single soul in the organization but the mission of the club is so incredibly appealing? And does it matter if I dance in the dorkiest manner at a party even if people are staring at me, but I am elated and having an amazing time? (I am not the most elegant of dancers. It is one of my many idiosyncrasies that as people know, I am no longer afraid to hide.)

All of these are the aspects of my college experience that I have shied away from for the past three years, but now it is time for it to stop. I want to walk on that stage at commencement in May knowing that my college experience was shaped by me, and that’s the real reason why my four years were the happiest and the most memorable ones that I will ever have. I know that my final nine months at school are going to include the customary emotional roller coaster that comes along with college, but I am absolutely certain that it is going to be the most memorable one yet.

To all of the other 2016 graduates out there, I suggest that you take the time to thoroughly reflect and think about how your college experienced has been defined. Can you truly call it your own? Or has it been one that has been shaped and strongly influenced by those around you? If you find yourself answering the first question with an answer of “no,” then it’s time for you to take the wheel and make it your own.

To all of those who still have more time or are just starting their college careers, really think about how you want to remember your four years and take the necessary steps that will ultimately help you achieve this goal. If following the campus culture and perceived norm is to your liking, then I say go for it, as long as you are truly happy and will look back 20 years from now content with your college experience. However, do not be afraid to befriend that stranger in your writing class because he/she seems different from your typical friend-type, or be skeptical to join that obscure club on campus that is congruent to your interests and hobbies. Those four years at college are truly precious and really do pass in the blink of an eye, and you want to be able to walk away and reflect both at graduation and in the distant future knowing that those eight semesters were happily created and sculpted by you, and only you.