Take a minute and think back to when you realized you were in love for the first time.

You probably approached this in one of two ways: you either revisited the moment with delight, or you recollected a memory in discomfort.

Remembering your first love can be as harmonious as piecing together the scents, sounds, and sights of your favorite holiday—or it’s as unpleasant as dozen piano keys being pounded at once to sound off one twisted minor chord. If that’s the case, this literature is for you.

If you’ve ever been in love, you know there’s no other way to describe it in words than in poetry. There is more to poetry than rhyming words, but for some of us, that’s all we know.

For some of us, we can’t find words to rhyme ourselves, so we define love by the song that describes our perfect love story. We bump to that beat on long drives. We belt out that tune in the shower. We do it until the sweet taste of those lyrics goes bland on our tongues. And at that moment, we must reflect and refocus.

Face it. You’re no longer living your favorite love song on repeat.

Let’s put a face on your first love and call him Dimitri.

Now it’s time to take a minute and think about that love song you dedicated to Dimitri. Something about those lyrics spoke volumes to you. Something about those lyrics leads you to believe that you and Dimitri were the poster couple in that music video.

Love—as a feeling—is infectious to the mind. Love—as an emotion—is fuel for the body.

When you listen to that song on loop, you are infecting your mind with expectations of the perfect relationship; you are fueling your body with the readiness for physical intimacy, as love feasts on sexual attraction.

That song tells a story. That song describes the escalation of passionate stirs that whipped a tornado of butterflies in your belly, the moment your first love became your obsession. If this obsession was the way you expressed all-consuming love, I have one thing to say:

It’s time to re-dedicate that love song to yourself.

This literally means finding an alternative meaning to the lyrics. I mean this in a way to help you understand that you can’t let the rejection from one person fester up the kind of doubt that keeps you from believing that you can experience joy, and completeness without a significant other.

When you are able to find that alternative meaning, you will easily translate that into your single, fabulous life.

The following scenario...

You’re in his apartment living room wearing an oversized hoodie.

This isn’t just any old oversized hoodie...it’s the hoodie Dimitri wore when you squeezed ketchup on him by accident, at last year’s homecoming tailgate where you met. It’s cute that Dimitri kept a badge of your clumsiness, but is it really cute to wear sloppy stains?

Can be rewritten as…

You’re in your own apartment living room wearing an oversized hoodie.

This actually is just an old, oversized hoodie...but it’s the hoodie you wear out on your morning jogs. Yes, it is damp with sweat. Is it really cute to reek of dedication and persistence? Duh? You, alone, are capable of remarkable things.

Next time you work that stage at the open mic bar, dedicate that number to yourself.