When I began college, I not only set out to further my education, but I also set out to find love. Initially, I had pictured this love being me finding a significant other, a romantic type of love. I pictured finding love in another person. But I never thought to look for love in a mirror.

I got so caught up in loving somebody else that it took away from me loving myself more and more every day. When another person didn’t love and accept me for who I was, it felt as if it was the end of the world for me.

Self-Love: (n.) regard for one's own well-being and happiness.

I didn’t realize I had no love for myself until somebody asked me, “Would you be friends with people who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself?” and that stuck to me. Why would I want to be surrounded by somebody so negative? I would look in a mirror and always pick out what I didn’t like to see in myself.

Never did I look at myself and emphasize what I loved about myself. We really are our own worst enemies. I realized I needed to focus on myself for once. Self-love is not selfish nor conceited. Self-love is complete forgiveness, acceptance, and respect for who you are. It is accepting your flaws and mistakes. It is okay to put yourself first.

It takes time! You don’t fall in love with another person overnight, just as you don’t fall in love with yourself overnight. There are so many books available, quotes on Pinterest, posts online that claim to have the key to fulfilling self-love. But the truth is, it’s different for every single person.

I like to think of falling in love with yourself the same way one would fall in love with another person. Spend more one-on-one time with yourself. Take some time to learn a little bit more about you. Find activities that you love to do. Talk positively about and to yourself. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Buy yourself a new outfit that makes you feel good, treat yo-self. You really do deserve it.

Now, I am a firm believer that you must fall in love with yourself before you are capable of falling in love with somebody else. Love from other individuals will come and go. A great piece of advice I was once given was, “Remember that you were art long before he came around to admire you. And you will continue to be art when he’s gone.”

The more you find love within yourself, the less you will turn to others for love. Self-love, self-respect, self-worth. They all start with self. You cannot find them in anyone else. Once you love yourself, you find it isn’t the end of the world if somebody else doesn’t love you too.

Our first and last love is self-love.