It's Time For 'Choice Feminism' To Die

It's Time For 'Choice Feminism' To Die

And we have to kill it.
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My generation has a feminism problem. A lot of people have said this, and most of those people are the kind we shouldn’t be listening to — pick-up artists, alt-right activists, Republican congressmen. They think our feminism problem is that we have feminism at all. But I’m not concerned about those people. I’m concerned about the people who think that all that’s needed to become a feminist is to say that you are one. I’m concerned about people who claim that any choice a woman makes, no matter how damaging it may be to herself or others, is a feminist choice simply because it’s a choice made by a woman. It’s like "Incredibles" supervillain Syndrome says about what happens when everyone is super — if everything is described as feminist, how do we determine what’s feminist and what isn’t?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about how to express my convictions about feminism without directly attacking the idea that all choices are feminist ones, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not possible. In order for feminism that accomplishes things to exist, choice feminism has to die, and we have to be the ones to kill it. We have to stop blindly accepting declarations of “I’m a feminist” from politicians, celebrities, family members, and friends. Instead, we have to judge them by their actions. A politician who doesn’t strive to protect women’s rights and speak up when those rights are threatened isn’t feminist, no matter what their campaign material says. A celebrity who refuses to even recognize the negative impact their work has on girls and women isn’t feminist, even if they claim to be. And family members and friends, no matter how loving and supportive they may be, aren’t feminist when they criticize your appearance, your career choices, or your way of speaking on the basis of your gender.

If we stop uncritically accepting other people’s assertions of feminism when they aren’t backed up by their actions, we also have to stop uncritically accepting our own anti-feminist behaviors. Nobody’s innocent of this. I’m certainly not. When I was younger, I judged other girls and women by their appearances because I was afraid that’s what they were doing to me. And maybe they were, but that doesn’t excuse what I said and did. If my goal is to be a true feminist, I have to support other women and girls, even if I disagree with their choices.

But in return for my unconditional support, I’m going to ask my fellow feminists a favor. Think critically about your own decisions. Ask yourselves why you’re doing something, and don’t believe people who tell you that all it takes to be a feminist is to say that you are one. Support your fellow women and girls, because you can’t expect them to have your back if you don’t have theirs. Expect to be treated well, and speak up when you aren’t being treated well. Stand up for each other. And don’t be afraid to admit you’ve made mistakes.

Thinking critically means realizing you’re not perfect and striving to get better. And that’s what being a real feminist is all about.

Cover Image Credit: Flaunter

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6 Things You Should Know About The Woman Who Can't Stand Modern Feminism

Yes, she wants to be heard too.

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2018 is sort of a trap for this woman. She believes in women with all of the fire inside of her, but it is hard for her to offer support when people are making fools of themselves and disguising it as feminism.

The fact of the matter is that women possess qualities that men don't and men possess qualities that women don't. That is natural. Plus, no one sees men parading the streets in penis costumes complaining that they don't get to carry their own fetus for nine months.

1. She really loves and values women.

She is incredibly proud to be a woman.

She knows the amount of power than a woman's presence alone can hold. She sees when a woman walks into a room and makes the whole place light up. She begs that you won't make her feel like a "lady hater" because she doesn't want to follow a trend that she doesn't agree with.

2. She wants equality, too

She has seen the fundamental issues in the corporate world, where women and men are not receiving equal pay.

She doesn't cheer on the businesses that don't see women and men as equivalents. But she does recognize that if she works her butt off, she can be as successful as she wants to.

3. She wears a bra.

While she knows the "I don't have to wear a bra for society" trend isn't a new one, but she doesn't quite get it. Like maybe she wants to wear a bra because it makes her feel better. Maybe she wears a bra because it is the normal things to do... And that's OK.

Maybe she wants to put wear a lacy bra and pretty makeup to feel girly on .a date night. She is confused by the women who claim to be "fighting for women," because sometimes they make her feel bad for expressing her ladyhood in a different way than them.

4. She hates creeps just as much as you do. .

Just because she isn't a feminist does not mean that she is cool with the gruesome reality that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused.

In fact, this makes her stomach turn inside out to think about. She knows and loves people who have been through such a tragedy and wants to put the terrible, creepy, sexually charged criminals behind bars just as bad as the next woman.

Remember that just because she isn't a feminist doesn't mean she thinks awful men can do whatever they want.

5. There is a reason she is ashamed of 2018's version of feminism.

She looks at women in history who have made a difference and is miserably blown away by modern feminism's performance.

Not only have women in the past won themselves the right to vote, but also the right to buy birth control and have credit cards in their names and EVEN saw marital rape become a criminal offense.

None of them dressed in vagina costumes to win anyone over though... Crazy, right?

6. She isn't going to dress in a lady parts costume to prove a point.

This leaves her speechless. It is like the women around her have absolutely lost their minds and their agendas, only lessening their own credibility.

"Mom, what are those ladies on TV dressed up as?"

"Ummm... it looks to me like they are pink taco's honey."

She loves who she is and she cherished what makes her different from the men around her. She doesn't want to compromise who she is as a woman just so she can be "equal with men."

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25 Things You Know All Too Well If You're From The South

Are you really southern if you don't like BBQ?

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You may think that southern people only care about football. That could possibly be true, but you can't say that unless you've experienced living in the south first hand. There are many other things that make up a "southerner" rather than SEC football and sweet tea. If you've never been to one of the southern states, then you need to plan a trip.

1. You get the death stare if you don't say "yes ma'am or no sir"

2. SEC>NFL

3. You pull over on the highway when you see a funeral procession

4. Unsweet tea is for the Northern Folk

5. You can tell when someone "ain't from around here"

6. Shunnarah

7. There are only 2 seasons: Summer and Football

8. Krispy Kreme and BBQ are a delicacy 

9. You respect your elders.... well, you respect everybody or mama will whoop you

10. Pine trees are everywhere

11. Mosquitoes 

12. Snow shuts down the whole state. Even if its one inch

13. You go to church every Sunday

14. Everything is better with a monogram

15. Tornado warnings mean go outside and look for a funnel cloud. (but really. get to shelter)

16. Weddings are scheduled around football

17. Waffle House

18. Shorts and flip flops are the go to summer outfit (sometimes you can wear them in December!)

19. You say "thank you" when someone holds the door for you

20. And if you don't say "thank you", we will holler out "you're welcome"

21. Calling someone during a bowl game (Iron Bowl) is a sin

22. If you don't say "excuse me" we will holler "well excuse you"

23. Cornbread is a part of every meal

24. There is some sort of farm animal in your yard if they figure out how to escape

25. Almost every food is fried

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