It’s 1 a.m. and I’m dancing. I’m hand in hand with my friend, spinning in her backyard, looking up at the dark sky, proving just how late it is. We’ve been doing karaoke for hours now, and now it’s time for “Bohemian Rhapsody.” The whole backyard is singing even though there are only two microphones.

This birthday party’s been going for hours, but this is one of the moments that sticks out the most. That’s something special, considering the party went from four in the afternoon until after I went to sleep at 6:30 a.m.

In that moment, spinning in the grass in the dark, something inside me clicked into place that had been out for a while, even if I didn’t realize that at the time.

You see, it isn’t always the big things that always make you so happy that your heart rises in your chest and the usual glaze of monotony leaves your eyes, making this moment so clear and unfiltered, a white blip on the dark radar of real life. The huge things aren’t always the ones that make themselves stick out in your memories like the brightest stars in the night sky.

This is so important to remember, because far too often we anticipate those stereotypical milestones, and get disappointed when those events go by without the outcome we expected. Maybe it rained during your outdoor graduation, or you tripped onstage. Maybe your day trip got rained out, so you didn’t get to do all the things on your list. Maybe the concert you wanted to go to so badly sucked.

Just because the overall experience didn’t match your expectations doesn’t mean that there isn’t any good in it. It can be hard to find, but there is always good, even if it’s only minutes or seconds long. It may be fleeting from time to time, but the fact that it’s there is what matters.

When everything is over and gone, the bad memories will linger. Maybe you’ll go over what you said a million times, wondering how you could be so stupid. Maybe tripping on stage follows you as the headline of jokes for years. Maybe that concert experience ruins the band for you. All of this will live in your memory for decades.

But the good will reside in your memory too, and it will not lose its softness. When the bad memories sneak up on you, the good ones are never far behind. They slip in through the cracks the bad ones left, and embrace you like your favorite blanket. You may have said something you shouldn’t have, but watching someone crack up at you made your heart soar for a few seconds. You may have tripped crossing the stage, but nothing will erase your mother’s teary, proud face from your mind, and it still brings tears to your eyes. The concert may have sucked, but you and your best friend had a great time making fun of them, laughing until it hurt.

Just because an experience wasn’t perfect, or maybe wasn’t even good, doesn’t mean that there isn’t at least a speck of light to brighten up the night. Your pieces will click together. Just hold on, and wait it out.