When I was a child, my most formative years were spent at Camp Lone Star down in La Grange, Texas. For the longest time, I idolized this place so much that I thought it had all the answers to my life problems. In some ways, it did. I usually came to several revelations during my time there and came out being a different person. However, I came to realize very quickly that it's run by a bunch of people who were just as messed up as me, although they had some profound wisdom that I did not at the time. So, when I was old enough to finally be a counselor at Camp Lone Star the summer after my Freshman year at Texas A&M, I was hit by the crushing reality that I had to take summer classes If I was going to graduate anywhere near on time. I also was hit with the reality that those classes were going to be paid for out of my pocket. As it turned out, my pockets weren't all that deep, and I needed to get a job somewhere that was not Camp Lone Star. To everyone's dismay, I was a waitress that summer. And I was extremely bad at it. I'm saying like I was the waitress who accidentally spilled drinks on people, forgot to put in orders, hardly knew the table numbers, and brought out wrong food. It was not a good situation. At all.
Therefore, after I had finished both of my summer classes (one that I had taken by accident- but that's another story), and after I got to finally quit my waitressing job, I was bombarded with the Instagram feed of all of my friends who had worked at Camp Lone Star. Let me tell you something, that was a rough time. The FOMO was so real, and the jealousy was steeping. I wanted to be there so bad with every single bone inside of my body. However, I was not. I was stuck in my home town taking summer classes and working a job that I was terrible at, while all of my friends were getting to teach kiddos about Jesus.
But do you know what I realized? I needed to be right where I was that summer. I learned a lot about myself. All of my weaknesses were exploited, and I couldn't do anything about it. Also, that summer was the one where I realized that I had a problem with controlling my anxiety and that I needed help. So you could say that summer was monumental, granted it took a very large toll on my mental health.
However, this summer was entirely different in such a good way!! I didn't work at Camp Lone Star, and that's okay. This summer I was truly at peace with that, considering I didn't even apply. Instead, I got to be a Summer Day Camp counselor and have a blast hanging out with kids!! And I took summer classes at the same time! So basically, I got the best of both worlds. And I'm really excited to say that I met some of the best people through that job, and hope to continue to develop more of those relationships. I've tried to write about my experience with camp, and I've never really been able to put it into words. I have fragments and stories, but there's no single article that can truly let someone who hasn't been a part of it know what it was like.
This summer I was right where I needed to be, and I think it's crazy how God places us right where he knows that we need to be. This summer didn't live up to my childhood dream of what this summer would be like, but instead did the opposite. This summer was even better than I could have imagined. So, sometimes it's okay if you're not where you thought you'd end up when you were a child. Usually, God has something better in mind anyways.