It seems that with the rise of #noragretz, the #yolo trend, and the laissez-faire attitude of the new millennium, living with regrets is futile — almost looked down upon. We’ve become attuned to the belief that having regrets is not mindful and is instead an indication of a negative state of mind. But however much I endorse being content with life as it is, I do believe there is some merit to having regrets — a merit that threateningly loses its warrant in this increasingly popular modern perspective on life.

My sophomore year of college, I had a pocket wallet that I kept my ID and credit cards in. I was used to traveling with it in my backpack wherever I went, except one day, when I was rushing to a meeting, I hurriedly decided to carry my wallet in my hand instead of taking the time to find a bag. I had a hunch that carrying my wallet in my hand was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. Somewhere along the path to the medical center (15 minutes away) and back, I lost my wallet. Needless to say, I had to replace my credit cards, license, and some cash; of course, I instantly regretted having not properly carried my wallet especially when I knew it was a bad idea. Most of my close friends and family know this isn't the first time I've lost something and it definitely wouldn't be the last ("classic Anita," they'd say), but each time I do regret my mistake — and learn a lesson.

We've often been taught to feel like having regrets is useless — there's no point in living in the past. But those are two separate concepts — one natural and the other dangerous. Regrets are natural. It could be that one class you wish you had done better on in your freshman year of college, the friendship in high school you wished you had kept strong, the career you wished you had pursued since graduating college, or the frustrations you wished you hadn't expressed out of anger in the heat of the moment. Regardless, we all make mistakes, and when they're recognized, regret is quick to follow.

Living in the past and dwelling on events you cannot change is dangerous and unhealthy. We cannot alter what has been done and, though it may not have been the best decision in retrospect, it's a decision we made with consequences we must own up to. Instead of allowing the contingent disappointment to consume us, regret serves as a tool to positively direct our present and future actions.

Embracing regrets is also beautiful in showing that we are not jaded to the way we've lived or the people we have become. Sure, you can live the "I'm out of f***s to give lifestyle," and this attitude is empowering and useful at times, but sometimes it's more important to recognize how others might feel and to be cognizant of how your actions affect yourself and others.

It is a necessary and almost beautiful thing to recognize your mistakes and admit you’ve made them. Feeling regretful over an action and its consequences is not only natural but also essential to bettering yourself and preventing such mistakes from happening again. I myself have plenty of regrets, but with each one, I've learned something either about myself or about others. It's perfectly OK to have regrets. It doesn't devalue the lesson that you learned, nor does it have to become a negative state of obsession. Having regrets does not mean you are weak, immature, or pessimistic, but rather that you're brave enough to admit your mistakes; even if it's just to yourself, it means that you care for change. We all make mistakes, and instead of reacting to them with a blazing attitude of

oh well, #yolo, there's a special humility and compassion in realizing we could have done better.