It’s only when you realize that maybe you need some help that things start to change.

Couldn’t that being a more truthful statement?

The reality is we want to be able to do it ourselves so we can feel the glory of having done it. It might not make a lot of sense, but I know it’s true for me. Let me explain.

I want to prove that I can do everything on my own. That I don’t need any help because I’m strong and I’m tough and I’ve been through the ups and the downs enough times to be able to solve almost anything that comes my way. Even if the problem isn’t like anything I’ve ever had to deal with, I still need to figure it out. Alone. Why? So I can prove that I can do it. But prove it to who?

I used to think I was trying to prove it to everyone else until I became obsessed with trying to be superwoman and do a million things at the same time. I guess you can say I was in denial. I didn’t like having people tell me that I wasn’t going to be able to do it by myself, that I needed to ask for help. To me, that sounded like someone telling me I couldn’t handle it. So what happened? I started trying to prove that I could. That I was tougher than I looked. That I wasn’t just the nice person you say hello to in the morning. That I was actually the intimidating one people didn’t dare look in the eye because I was on a mission and anything or anyone that would potentially sway me away from that mission would get the death stare. That was me.

Recently, I’ve had to accept and ask for help because I had to admit that I wasn’t strong enough. I’m not saying I’m not strong in general, but in this particular instance, I wasn’t able to carry all the weight on my shoulders. I needed someone to spot me, someone to motivate me, someone to be there with the towel and a bottle of water. I needed someone else, by my side, telling me I could do it even when I was so convinced I couldn’t.

And I realized that it’s OK to ask for help, too.

I was so against it because I thought it was a sign of weakness, but actually, it’s a sign of great strength. To ask for help shows more confidence, commitment, and understanding than trying to figure everything out by yourself.

I’m not saying this is going to happen overnight for anyone. It certainly didn’t happen that way for me. But when I started to notice the signs, I didn’t reject them entirely. I was in denial for a long time, but then I started coming around and realizing that it said a lot about what I think of myself if I let myself drown.

I understood that drowning in my own stress was not an option and if I needed help, I would ask for it, and if someone offered me help, I would take it. I would do whatever was necessary to make sure that I got the help I needed to continue to handle the other millions of things I have to deal with.

It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible. And since it’s not always going to be standing right in front of you, there will be times where you will want to shut yourself in instead of reaching out. Those times are the most crucial because it’s the moments when you want to quit that matter the most.