So maybe “date” is the wrong word to use in this instance, but although the two of us know better, friends and what not will say he is my boyfriend, and so we will just go with that label.
Ironically, that is the issue with the situation in itself. Let’s start from the beginning.Earlier this year a friend of mine, who is known to be a "grade-A bad boy" by all stereotypical standards, and myself became closer and closer acquainted. It had become so close, in fact, to the point that the two of us have been on numerous dates in the past couple weeks. Dates like the movies, the mall, even simply store hopping at one point when we had nothing better to do. From the way it goes, it would never be guessed we met due to a sleazy remark made on my part to my friend, who I just wanted to make cringe.
There is hand holding, and little innocent moments, and a few remarks here and there like any legitimate relationship.
The dates are actually some of the more fun outings I've been on, and most comfortable honest.
However, when I mention these dates to a couple of my friends, they look at me as if I do not know what I am doing. They say it is only a waste of time because I do not know if a future is possible with him, despite myself being much too young to even consider a "future" with anyone I am dating. Simply put, the conversation usually ends up with her or him claiming that I am only going to get myself hurt in the process, and what happiness I use to have with the situation is drained- at least temporarily. I don't think she understood, necessarily, that i went into this fully expecting what could happen and expecting the worse- or rather, maybe she did understand and simply did not care because he was still a bad decision.
The point of the story is to say this.
If you are a girl in the dating scene, and a classified bad boy (or self proclaimed "douchebag" like my own "date"), there is no shame in having a good time with him. Hell, it's okay to date whoever you want, if it does make you happy.
It took me awhile to come to the conclusion with this because it is unconventional to date someone who I can not see a future with. I use to pride myself on not dating unless I see the person I am with as a potential partner, however I realized that logic only came because I had never seen someone show interest in me other than a friend.
That might sound pathetic, but it was true, and I do not have shame in that.
Dating the class a bad boy of the world can be fun so long as no one is getting hurt, which is the problem my friends seem to worry about.When he showed interest in me, it was spur of the moment and I was all too well prepared for this trait in him. I had prepared myself for the worst and went in head first. No, I can not see a future with him yet, but that does not mean I can not have fun with him.
Girls can date the bad boy of their class and get out unscathed if they are prepared for that personality and willing to take it on responsibly. So long as the girl in the situation is willing to not hold rose tinted glasses throughout the outings and note when too much is too much, a little fun does not hurt, especially if there are no other options at the time (because, let's be honest- who has options twenty four/seven?)
I believe there is a superiority complex in those, or a majority of those, who date with the soul intention of marrying, but if we are to be honest, a the age of sixteen to twenty, or maybe a little later, unless you have already met your sweetheart, it might be awhile before marriage is even in the blind spots. And if you do so happen to meet the love of your life, relationships are nowhere near permanent, and that fun little fling is completely open to be broken off.
The point here is, when it comes to dating, people have different schedules in their life. If someone wants to be with maybe the lesser expected choice, and be with them responsibly, then there is no problem with it. It is entirely possible to be seeing someone who might not necessarily be "good for them" as long as they know what to expect in the end.