It's Not That Black And White These Days

It's Not That Black And White These Days

Cheers to the gray area.
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When asked if he liked a girl, my friend’s response was, “it’s not that black and white these days, is it?” I was surprised, yet somewhat intrigued and pleased at his answer. Prior to this conversation, I’d only ever seen it two ways: yes or no. You either like someone or you don’t. Put in the effort or walk away. So his question really got me thinking.

It made me realize that I’ve been wrong this entire time. Sure, for some it may be as easy as a yes or no, but in the age of dating apps and the hookup culture, it’s really not as simple as it used to be. Now, there’s this gray space that’s confusing and stressing us and making our lives so much more difficult. Within that space lies so many variables and questions.

Maybe you like spending time with someone, and you know you’re definitely more than just friends, but does that necessarily mean that you like him or her? I’d argue no. In my eyes, enjoying your time with someone is solely about enjoying their company and interests, and maybe even their personality. However, liking someone is about wanting to get to know the person on a deeper level and appreciating who they are as an individual. While the former can surely lead to the latter, it’s intrigue and curiosity that are driving factors of liking someone, and those are what I believe mark the true difference between the two.

I’m not quite sure what my intent is in writing this article. I suppose this is more food for thought and my take on the matter rather than anything else. You might agree or disagree, and that’s fine. Again, it’s just my opinion, so don’t take it too personally or seriously.

I know I’m not the only one that’s been confused before by someone else’s signals and intentions. But prior to having that conversation with my friend, it never really hit me that I’ve been living in this gray area for some time now. Honestly, I think I’m okay with being in the middle… for now. Until you find that one person that continues to peak your interest and draw your attention, live in the gray area! There’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, sometimes it’s just what we need.

Cover Image Credit: icytales.com

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Look, I Don't Want Your Boy, But 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' Makes Me Feel Incredible

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

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I have seen so many thoughts and complaints that Ariana Grande's new song, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is shallow.

Some are even saying, "this song just perpetuates everything that is wrong with dating and relationships in society today."

But, girl, I have to disagree.

You see, just because I sing this song at the top of my lungs in both my dorm's shower and alone in my car, I am not going to steal anyone's boyfriend.

I am simply pretending like I am some kind of bad chick that no one should mess with but in reality, I apologize for walking in someone's direction.

And, let's say, if I were to say something lighthearted or friendly to him and he responds with actions that propose cheating, he wasn't a good boyfriend in the first place.

Listen, girls: stop being so insecure.

You have a boyfriend. He loves you. He chose you. If another girl comes by and his eyes dart her way, his heart wasn't in it all the way.

Not everything is deeper than the skin.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that it's OK for girls to go around and try to steal boyfriends. Actually, that's a pretty trashy move that no one should attempt. I know it happens, though. I know it is everyone's worst fear.

However, there is no life living within fear of rejection and being left. If those are the things that linger in the back of your mind, you will never taste the freedom of living.

Truly living.

So am I a bad person, considering that 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' is my anthem?

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

So no, just listening to Ari's new bop doesn't make me a bad person or a boyfriend stealer.

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