When asked if he liked a girl, my friend’s response was, “it’s not that black and white these days, is it?” I was surprised, yet somewhat intrigued and pleased at his answer. Prior to this conversation, I’d only ever seen it two ways: yes or no. You either like someone or you don’t. Put in the effort or walk away. So his question really got me thinking.

It made me realize that I’ve been wrong this entire time. Sure, for some it may be as easy as a yes or no, but in the age of dating apps and the hookup culture, it’s really not as simple as it used to be. Now, there’s this gray space that’s confusing and stressing us and making our lives so much more difficult. Within that space lies so many variables and questions.

Maybe you like spending time with someone, and you know you’re definitely more than just friends, but does that necessarily mean that you like him or her? I’d argue no. In my eyes, enjoying your time with someone is solely about enjoying their company and interests, and maybe even their personality. However, liking someone is about wanting to get to know the person on a deeper level and appreciating who they are as an individual. While the former can surely lead to the latter, it’s intrigue and curiosity that are driving factors of liking someone, and those are what I believe mark the true difference between the two.

I’m not quite sure what my intent is in writing this article. I suppose this is more food for thought and my take on the matter rather than anything else. You might agree or disagree, and that’s fine. Again, it’s just my opinion, so don’t take it too personally or seriously.

I know I’m not the only one that’s been confused before by someone else’s signals and intentions. But prior to having that conversation with my friend, it never really hit me that I’ve been living in this gray area for some time now. Honestly, I think I’m okay with being in the middle… for now. Until you find that one person that continues to peak your interest and draw your attention, live in the gray area! There’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, sometimes it’s just what we need.