It's Not FeminISM That's The Problem, It's The FeminISTs

It's Not FeminISM That's The Problem, It's The FeminISTs

I am fighting for my feminism, and I will NEVER fight for yours.

I was always told growing up, that men and women were equal, and that women could do anything a man could do. As much as I despise the labels that we paste on our foreheads, our identities, I would say that I am a feminist; not a feminazi, not an SJW, not a bigot.

I am a female who believes in the equality of women AND men, as well as equal opportunities.

But there's this “new” feminism that isn’t the one that I knew and loved, the one that my parents believed in, the one that discriminates and hates.

This is not my feminism. It is a cancerous hybrid that has shape-shifted itself to trick people.

However, I believe that feminism itself hasn’t changed as much as the people who worship it like a religion. They clutch to the belief that it will change everything, and that obsession catches fire and becomes unable to be controlled. Betty Friedan rose her voice and incited the second wave of feminism, giving the average, suburban housewife a voice and a choice. She said that women shouldn’t be confined to a life of dishes, laundry, and birthing children; that the option of having a career like every breadwinning man was feasible. She quoted, “I want something more than my husband and my children and my home.”

She changed the world for women. Now, we are moving backwards. Instead of uniting men and women, of all beliefs and ideals, the followers of “feminism” are discriminating women and men who don’t follow their beliefs.

I am not saying that Friedan’s feminism didn’t discriminate or exclude against women of color and lesbians, but it is 2017. We are taking two steps forward, with increased gay rights and black lives matter, but moving four steps back by criticizing those who disagree.

I read this article by a fellow Odyssey creator (amazing article by the way) called “I Don’t Want My Husband to Help Me With Housework,” illustrating that she believes that her responsibility is to take care of the family and her husband. Now, I am not agreeing with that entirely, but why are people up in arms, saying she is adhering to gender roles for women, when these are her beliefs?

Friedan wanted women to have the choice, not the expectation, to follow their career path and truly live the life they want. If a woman wants to be a housewife, why should “feminists” think less of her as a millennial woman?

Not only do modern day femenazis judge women for adhering to old-fashioned beliefs, but also, the blatant man hating that is associated with these “feminists” is down right hypocritical. Women have fought for hundreds of years to have equal voice, pay, opportunities, respect, and these extremists are discrediting all women and all men who continue to mend to tear us apart. The typical SJW terms like rape culture, patriarchy, and let me not forget mansplaining, give people the right to laugh in our fucking faces and discredit feminism as a unifying force.

Do I believe that there is inequality? Yes.

Do I believe in the principle of an-eye-for-an-eye, trying to make men second-class citizens? No.

Do I believe that 1 out of 5 men I see on campus will rape me? No.

Do I believe that taking up two bus seats so a dude’s nuts can air out is him showing his inferiority to me? Fuck no.

I am a proud feminist.

I love men and women equally, regardless of the past and my experiences with either. I may not want to be a housewife, I may not want to be a mother, I may not want to be a Christian, and I may not want to be a straight woman, but I do not judge or hate or crucify anyone who does, and that’s my problem with today’s feminism. You “feminists” sit at your marches and post on your Tumbler, thinking you are changing the world for women, but you are only making it worse.

I know you good feminists are out there, hopefully reading this article. As for the others, the cancerous posers that pretend to embody the feminist’s values, you are the problem with society. I will not judge your beliefs, but I will never stand beside you and fight for feminism.

I am fighting for my feminism, and I will never fight for yours.
Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.

It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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Dear Senator Walsh, I Can't Wait For The Day That A Nurse Saves Your Life

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.


Dear Senator Walsh,

I can't even fathom how many letters you've read like this in the past 72 hours. You've insulted one of the largest, strongest and most emotion-filled professions.. you're bound to get a lot of feedback. And as nurses, we're taught that when something makes us mad, to let that anger fuel us to make a difference and that's what we're doing.

I am not even a nurse. I'm just a nursing student. I have been around and I've seen my fair share of sore legs and clinical days where you don't even use the bathroom, but I am still not even a nurse yet. Three years in, though, and I feel as if I've given my entire life and heart to this profession. My heart absolutely breaks for the men and women who are real nurses as they had to wake up the next morning after hearing your comments, put on their scrubs and prepare for a 12-hour day (during which I promise you, they didn't play one card game).

I have spent the last three years of my life surrounded by nurses. I'm around them more than I'm around my own family, seriously. I have watched nurses pass more medications than you probably know exist. They know the side effects, dosages and complications like the back of their hand. I have watched them weep at the bedside of dying patients and cry as they deliver new lives into this world. I have watched them hang IV's, give bed baths, and spoon-feed patients who can't do it themselves. I've watched them find mistakes of doctors and literally save patient's lives. I have watched them run, and teach, and smile, and hug and care... oh boy, have I seen the compassion that exudes from every nurse that I've encountered. I've watched them during their long shifts. I've seen them forfeit their own breaks and lunches. I've seen them break and wonder what it's all for... but I've also seen them around their patients and remember why they do what they do. You know what I've never once seen them do? Play cards.

The best thing about our profession, Senator, is that we are forgiving. The internet might be blown up with pictures mocking your comments, but at the end of the day, we still would treat you with the same respect that we would give to anyone. That's what makes our profession so amazing. We would drop anything, for anyone, anytime, no matter what.

You did insult us. It does hurt to hear those comments because from the first day of nursing school we are reminded how the world has zero idea what we do every day. We get insulted and disrespected and little recognition for everything we do sometimes. But you know what? We still do it.

When it's your time, Senator, I promise that the nurse taking care of you will remember your comments. They'll remember the way they felt the day you publicly said that nurses "probably do get breaks. They probably play cards for a considerable amount of the day." The jokes will stop and it'll eventually die down, but we will still remember.

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.

Please just remember that we cannot properly take care of people if we aren't even taken care of ourselves.

I sincerely pray that someday you learn all that nurses do and please know that during our breaks, we are chugging coffee, eating some sort of lunch, and re-tying our shoes... not playing cards.

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