"This is a man's world, this is a man's world. But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl." — James Brown, "'t's a Man's, Man's, Man's World'

I might have been aware, if I had been less awkward. Aware of the strictly coded ways that men and women are expected to behave. For even with all the etiquette, rules, and protocols, it’s like I need a neon flashing sign in front of me saying “Men Versus Women” to understand that I can’t possibly behave the way that men can. Us women have always been given the message subliminally that we can’t be as successful as men. We’ve been told that since we were girls.

It came to my attention the other day. I had spent the whole day sleeping, and as I do on nights when I don’t want to sleep, I decided to work out. This was fine when I was in college — if I didn’t have class the next day I would just sleep in until the afternoon, and then go to the gym in Sea Gull Square late at night. I was on my own, I lived in the same building so I didn’t have to go through a parking garage or outside anywhere where it might not be safe, and no one questioned my decisions. Now that I’ve stepped foot outside of college, I have learned very quickly that this is not behavior typically expected of women (like I said, I’m awkward).

It was a crisp, cool night at around 11 p.m. I decided to run to the park and in the park. Then I noticed that I was getting strange looks, so I stopped running. It was then I noticed the way people walk in groups based on gender when it’s late at night. Men walk with their friends who are men, and women walk with their friends who are women.

I think it’s important to point out that sexism and double standards are perpetrated within groups of women. Growing up, I was told that I eat too much; while other girls in my family were told that they eat too little. Every time I said that I didn’t care, the women in my family would ask me, “What’s going to happen when you meet your future husband?” I don’t know why women have these kinds of conversations, but they seem to spread from generation to generation.

I’ve gotten looks for being unconcerned about weight loss. Some of it is reasonable: it can’t be good for my health to eat too much butter. Whenever I exercise, it’s usually for stress relief, rather than weight loss. This has made me somewhat of an outlier among girls and women. As a child, and even as a young adult, I tend to be more interested in The Chronicles of Narnia and dorky habits like watching improv theatre or shopping hauls on YouTube. In my opinion, people don’t make as big of a deal with boys not being concerned with their appearance. With boys, it’s usually something more like “Billy won’t help with dinner because he’s in his room playing video games.” With young women (or at least my experience), it’s more like “Oh, she needs to eat less and do yoga, and learn how to cook or else how will she find a husband?”, when really all I want to do is heat up chicken nuggets and put them in front of my husband.

So you’re a guy, and you say, “But I’m not in great shape, and people tell me to get in shape all the time!” Sure, people can be judgmental towards people who aren’t women, but you’re told that you have more value than the way you look. Men, more so than women, are encouraged to be smart or funny. Look at Seth Rogan, who played in movies such as “Superbad” and “Neighbors”. Seth Rogan is a funny guy, though he isn’t that great looking. However, as a male comedian he has the privilege of not having all the jokes he makes be about his size. Female comedians are expected to be funny while also thin, and if they aren’t it becomes the focus of their comedy — or people make a comment about their weight. For example, Rebel Wilson. Like Rogan, she is great at what she does. However, unlike Rogan, her weight and appearance become the focus of her comedy. In “Pitch Perfect”, her name is Fat Amy, and she makes jokes about things such as “vertical running” — which isn’t even a real thing. There are a million memes about Fat Amy online. In “How to Be Single”, she plays a stereotype of a larger woman who is crude, sassy, and rather than the main character, plays the best friend to the thin woman.

Rebel Wilson and Seth Rogan are both successful comedians who have made a fortune out of what they do. There is a relatively new genre of “women comedians”. I’m not going to say that society hasn’t made progress in women’s rights, because I feel that we have. I’m saying that there is room for improvement. And I’m not just talking about the “seventy-nine cents that women make for every dollar that men make”. What I’m talking about is how we incentivize traditionally “male” fields such as business, science and technology with higher pays. Yes, women are making great strides in STEM fields. However, these fields remain largely male.

Another issue is that if a man is interested in a field that is usually associated with women, such as social work or dance, he is emasculated and discredited. People say things about male dancers such as, “He’s like a girl”, or “He’s gay”. By connecting a man’s hobby or profession with “femininity”, and then laughing about it, makes femininity second to masculinity. Not only is it homophobic, but it is a coded way of trying to keep the status quo by making sure that men stay on top. So yeah, sexism affects men negatively too. Men who want to break out of the traditional code of jobs or ways of behaving that men are expected to have can face difficulties in their lives.

Society has always had rules about the ways that the genders can behave and relate to each other. Some of these can be beneficial-for example, staying in groups late at night. More often than not, these rules get in the way. Society and women have made progress from women’s’ roles as homemakers. It is important to assess where we are as a society right now so we can keep on moving, and so that men and women can have the freedom to be themselves not based on gender roles or stereotypes; but based on their own unique talents and skills.