We've all heard the classic saying from out parents, "It's not about what you say, it's about how you say it." This saying really has something to it, and we should all take note about what it's trying to say. What it means is that it's all about the delivery of your information, rather than the actual content. While the content is important, the first thing that gives people a sense of mood and tone is your delivery. So, if we pay attention to the way that we say things, we just might be able to change our lives using the power of words.
One of the best examples I can think of is to compare this to talking to pets. You know when you talk to your beloved dog/cat and you start talking like you're on Sesame Street, well it's mostly about your tone, not your words. You could insult your pet by calling it every name in the book, but if you do it in a sweet, high-pitched tone, they will think that you're praising them. They don't understand the meaning of the words, but because you are speaking in a sweet voice, they immediately feel comforted, and loved, regardless of if you're actually insulting them.
The same thing works with humans, just a little differently. While humans do understand words and meaning, tone and word choice are still of key importance, and not only in essays. You can help control how people react to you, and how you react to situations that you end up in. Even by lying to yourself, you can trick yourself into feeling a smidge better.
Consider this: you make plans to go out with some friends, but realize that you have to work on the same night that you made plans for. Instead of complaining to your friends/parents that you have work by saying, "Ugh, I have to work, so I can't go out" , use opportunity words and phrases like, "I get to work on Friday night" or "I can't wait to work on Friday." It sounds silly, but even if you have to lie to yourself to say it, you'll feel a little better. A lot of times we use victim words in an attempt to evoke pity from people about silly first world problems, while we easily forget just how blessed we really are. Try to make each instance into an opportunity, rather than an obligation. Just by delivering your message in a different way, you will immediately set a more positive and grateful tone to the conversation that follows.
You will be surprised at the different responses that you will get from people when you start using opportunity words rather than victim and pity words. Just try it out, you will feel a lot better, I promise. Just try to remember, make an opportunity, not an obligation.