It's 2019, And Instead Of Resolutions, I'm Making A Lifelong Bucket List

It's 2019, And Instead Of Resolutions, I'm Making A Lifelong Bucket List


"But, for 2019, I promised myself I would learn to love every part of myself whether other people do or not. "

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For me, 2018 was rough. Here's a little backstory. On January 2nd, I turned 18, I graduated High School in May, and by the time I left for college, I'd already lost most of my friends. The first half of the year was good, but then everything began going downhill. But, for 2019, I promised myself I would learn to love every part of myself whether other people do or not.

It's 2019, and instead of resolutions, I'm making a lifelong bucket list. There is so much I want to do with my life, and hopefully, i'll be able to fulfill most of the things on my bucket list. This is just a shortened version.

1. Complete a 50 states trip

I love traveling with my family. Every time we enter a new state on a road trip, my sister and I make my dad stop so we can get a picture in front of a state sign. I really want to make a map of all the pictures.

2. Go on a cruise

I've been on small boats, but never a cruise ship. I want to plan a cruise with some friends to Mexico really bad!

3. Own my dream car

If anyone has seen One Tree Hill, then you know what car I'm talking about. It's a black convertible 1963 Mercury Comet with red leather seats and interior. It's gorgeous.

4. Watch the ball drop in Time Square

Obviously you can tell I love traveling.

5. See a broadway play

Wicked, The Waitress, Dear Evan Hansen, I have every soundtrack. I need this to happen.

6. Donate hair to cancer patients

7. Pay off my car

I neeeeeeed to get this done dudes.

8. Go to Disney World

I feel like I'm the only person who's never been.

9. Fly in a hot air ballon 

*and hopefully not fall out.

10. Write on Juliet's wall in Verona

I have wanted to do this ever since watching the movie "Letters To Juliet".

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Living For The Good, Means Excepting The Bad

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be the good." - John Steinbeck

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Like a revolving door, life has a way of coming at you in all directions.

You build walls to protect yourself but after a while, they begin to crumble.

You try to preach positivity and better yourself so maybe one day it will come out even.

Sometimes you feel like a blind man who's destination isn't for miles. Then other days you feel like a maple tree with roots so deep no one will ever be able to shake you. You change like the seasons; some warm and crisp, others barren and cold.

You sink back and wonder who you are…. however, this world is one you will never fully know.

You are so many things, so the question you ask is like an open-ended book with so many meanings it could hold.

I know you want an answer for it will make your comfort grow, but don't you see there is really none to be told.

So embrace all that you are, every piece; dark shades and light. Let yourself grow, learning to weather even the darkest days.

You're scared of the shadows inside you I can feel it, I am as well, I think we all try to hide it. But the light would not exist without its opposite foe. So just know for every ounce of what is a hard pill to swallow, the light in this world will only be soon to follow.

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This Semester Has Been Rough, But It Is SO Worth It

The photo you see above is a direct representation of how things are going currently.

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Let's be honest, college is not for everyone, and there are some days I question if it is right for me. I don't want to be negative, but I do believe in being a realist (you can think my mom for that).

When I started college, it felt easier. I was living with my parents, going to school during the day, and working at a school in my hometown in the evenings. Life was easy, but I was foolish not to realize it.

It is now three years since I graduated high school, I have changed jobs (twice), and moved out, but now preparing to move back into my parents' home. I mean life is wild.

There are honestly days that I have forgotten to eat until like 10 at night, and let's not even discuss laundry. I do not know how actual adults do it.

Ya girl is not only on the struggle bus, but I AM DRIVING THAT BAD BOY RIGHT NOW.

It is the week before finals, and I am praying that I see Friday at this point. Do not judge a college student over the next two weeks, because we have forgotten about thriving, and we are simply trying to survive.

FYI: PARENTS, BE PREPARED FOR LOTS OF LAUNDRY AND KIDS WANTING HOME-COOKED MEALS OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

I do not graduate until December with my bachelor's degree, and I tell you what, eight months feels like FOREVER. The closer I get to graduation, the slower time seems to go by.

But hey, YOU HAVE GOT THIS. WATCH THE TV SHOW. TAKE YOURSELF OUT FOR TACOS. TAKE A BATH. DO THAT LAUNDRY. YOU WILL SURVIVE, I may not, BUT YOU WILL.

In case anxiety and stress have taken over as it has for me, here are some tips for these last few days to help you get through it:

1. DO NOT FORGET TO EAT.

2. CALL YOUR FAMILY.

3. TAKE WALKS OUTSIDE TO GET FRESH AIR.

4. LEAVE THE LIBRARY (AT LEAST FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES).

5. REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS.

Gals (and guys) this degree will be so worth it.

I have grown up so much in the last three years, and it breaks my heart to know that I will be graduating at the end of this year. I have become this young woman that is full of joy in a world full of awfulness (is that even a real word??).

I have matured from a naive girl that grew up in a small town, and have learned that the tiniest things in life are the absolute greatest. College is a journey that is full of confetti, rainbows, late nights, coffee, tears, sweat, but of all moments that make me realize that I made the right decision.

I have truly learned that I am passionate about my degree and I will stop at nothing to walk across that stage, hear my full name (that is a bit long), and see my whole family smiling down on me.

We all know that we could not make it through these hard times without our families. So, don't take your frustration out on them, even when you are sleep deprived and just done with this whole thing we call college.

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