I find myself saying "it only takes one person to mess things up", quite often. To anyone that knows me, they know that I have more guy friends than girl friends, so this article isn't exactly easy for me to write. Of course, I will 100% admit that I am a feminist, but I'll try not to be too stereotypical with this one, this article title will probably deter people from even opening it, but if you're gone this far- you wonder what my opinion is so that's cool I guess. This isn't one of those personal pieces on "how men have screwed me over", or an ode to ex-boyfriends who I resent, just quite the opposite. I would just like to make the disclaimer that I do not write this article to offend anyone, I'm all for loving boys, but a couple of week ago in Barcelona I got jumped by a man right outside my apartment (I'm alright, but most definitely scared) and my view as much as I hate to say it, have changed. I usually write more humorous articles, so I will do my best to not depress anyone. Here are some reasons why women are afraid of men.

When getting jumped, I was told "just be safer next time" or "were you aware of what was going on?" (mind you, by a woman) To be honest, I couldn't have been more prepared for it- but that didn't make it any less scary. My friend who was with me at the time had pointed out that we were being followed, so I immediately held onto my bag and walked faster in hopes the men would catch on that we were onto them and they would leave- but alas, I was still yanked from behind from the strap of my bag. I did the only thing I could do- I screamed until he let go. I'm a pretty small person, so I don't think he was expecting me to fight back, but I sure did. But when I tell the story and think to myself "were we asking for it, walking back from being out so late at night?" some might think so. But then I think to myself, what kind of world do we live in if women are constantly being told "she was asking for it", in hopes that rape culture will one day fade out- but I'm sorry to say it probably won't because it only takes one to ruin it for everyone else. What kind of world do we live in where (even when nothing happens to us), women are terrified to even step outside their houses when it's after a certain hour of night? It shouldn't be this way. This isn't to say that there aren't any scary women out there, I've seen my fair share of them too, but that's not the point I'm making in this article.

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them."

This is a quote from Margaret Atwood and I can now vogue for it. Someone doesn't have to be a stereotypical man for me to be afraid of them. The man that jumped me was not much taller than me and probably half my weight. If I put my mind to it- I probably could've taken him in a fight, but in that moment I was absolutely terrified. My point being, when people are afraid of someone or something, it doesn't have to be the stereotype. This man wasn't the big macho man that we see at body building competitions, it was an average sized man barely bigger than me, and I was still unable to sleep for days thinking he would try and find me after I fought back for my bag.

This is not to say that all men are like this, at some point in my life I'd like to be married and living with a man, happily. But it's safe to say that if a stranger came up to me that was a man, a little part of me would be terrified I'd re-experience what I did in Barcelona that night. And I am sure some men will read this and not understand. I am not saying that men also don't get jumped or abused, so they might very well be afraid of women or men just as well, which is why they act the way they do on impulses, but that doesn't make it any better for either sex.

The reasoning "it can happen to anyone" is also thrown out there a lot when talking about being jumped, raped, or harassed. You don't have to be all done up for someone to want to harass you, there are some people that get harassed at the grocery store when they are far from done-up. So going back to when people say that "women are asking for it" just isn't valid anymore. It is true, these things do happen to everybody, but that doesn't mean it's okay. I cannot say that enough.

Everyone has their stories, that doesn't make any of the instances invalid or silly. These stories should be heard no matter how small or large they are on the impact of society. All over social media, making fun of men is a defense mechanism. It's easy to write about how "all men suck", or "men are stupid" or "of course he left me, he's a stereotypical man", but in actuality, this all stems from fear.

Name calling, as stupid as it sounds doesn't make it easier for women to not hate men. Since studying abroad and being able to go out to clubs, bars, pubs, etc. I've been greeted with "hey slut", "what's up, whores?" you name it, I've probably heard it all. I've found, when you deny someone, instead of leaving quietly, they have to have the last word. "It's because she's a bitch", for instance. I've written other articles on why you should embrace being a bitch. Sometimes, women find it easy to talk back to men, and sometimes they're too afraid of men to stand up for themselves. It's sad, really.

You also read about pressures of relationships everywhere, which almost makes me not want to be in one until I find the absolute perfect person, (who we all know doesn't exist) "my boyfriend pressured me to have sex", "my boyfriend left me after he found out I was pregnant", are things that we shouldn't have to be reading about in magazines, but because there are so many instances, it only heightens the fact that they need to be heard. Yes, of course magazines and media are going to write things that catch your attention, and not every man is the "emotionally/physically abusive husband who cheats on his wives", but IT ONLY TAKES ONE to make women believe that all men are like that. The same way that if one women breaks a man's heart, they then believe all women are beasts.

My next point is, we all know some women that resent men even for being higher up in the workplace. Women don't make as much as men do, and they definitely make sure we know that on a daily basis. The inequality we experience in our society nowadays doesn't help the fact that some women resent/hate men. "It's just the society we live in" should not be an excuse anymore. More and more, women are defining stereotypes by being the breadwinners, the single parents, etc. but as long as there's those few men who still believe that women shouldn't be president, shouldn't be in places of power in their workplace, and shouldn't be seen anywhere other than the kitchen, we'll be led to believe that we can't do what we want to achieve our dreams.

I write this article to try to inspire people to defy the stereotypes that come with your gender, etc. and in hopes that one day I won't feel like this anymore. I would also like to point out that I realize this article will probably make some people look at me a little differently, and for that, I pray for you.

**special shoutout to these specific men in my life that give me hope for the future: Dad, Coleman, Rick, Dan, Ricky, Brian, Mitchell, Dashaun, so many more. You know who you are.