It Is NOT OK To Say These Things
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Health and Wellness

It Is NOT OK To Say These Things

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all."

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It Is NOT OK To Say These Things
NorthJersey

Hey everyone! This week I decided to write about something that has happened to me. It wasn’t easy for me to write about, but I feel so much better afterwards. If you have struggled with confidence, you aren’t alone. I know how that feels, and it stinks to have to constantly fight to have confidence. I still struggle with loving myself, but it is an everyday battle, and I won’t let the other team win! So if you ever need an ear, I am here. I know some pretty great tips to help you feel more comfortable in your own skin. Well, enjoy!

“You are kind of pretty for a big girl.” “Oh wow, I am so into heavy girls.” “Big girls are my thing.”

No matter how “well” your intentions are, I guarantee that anyone would be irritated after hearing any variations of those statements.

I have never been a very slim person, and I am OK with that. Though for the longest time, I hated who I was. I used to constantly worry about my weight, and negative thoughts were running through my mind on a very regular basis. Those things were not okay. Instead of focusing on the things I liked, I focused on the one thing I hated. I constantly compared myself to everyone I saw, envying others, and wishing I could look like them. I wasn’t happy, and it was very obvious.

It wasn’t until I started college that I truly began to love myself, and accept myself for who I was. Sure, I had pudge where I didn’t want it, but I wasn’t going to hate myself for it. My sorority sisters taught me to appreciate myself, and I realized that if they loved me for who I was, why couldn’t I?

No one had ever said those things until a couple of month after I began college. The first time I heard it, it felt as if all the confidence that I had built up was shattered. I thought guys liked me because they could look past my size, not because they loved staring right at it. Sure, I had been bullied a lot because of my size growing up. That is expected to hurt. So why would someone telling me they liked me for the very thing I hated about myself bother me? The answer is simple.

Instead of pushing aside the fact that I am big, they brought it up so casually. You wouldn’t tell someone slim you only liked them for their size, would you? So why would a bigger person be any different. Big or small, it is not okay to tell someone you like them for their size. Not only could that person be struggling with how they feel about it, but now they are going to be thinking about what you told them. Trust me, I still hear that conversation sometimes. What would happen if I lost weight, would they find me unattractive and leave me? I didn’t want to stick around to find out. I am not your fetish, and you should not tell anyone that. Also, saying someone is pretty even though they are big is just all around rude. That is not OK!

I think it is time that we all come together, and start a new movement. One for body positivity. Who cares if you are big, small, pudgy, short, or tall? You are beautiful for being you. No one should ever take that away from you. If someone ever tells you they think you are pretty, even though you are big or small, tell them to move along. They aren’t going to be worth your time. You do not need that kind of negativity. Instead, surround yourself with people who think you are beautiful, regardless of your size.

If you ever feel like you aren’t beautiful, just know that I think you are. I may not know you personally, but I am a firm believer that everyone is their own type of beauty. No guy will ever be the one to show you that, you have to find it within yourself. A guy cannot teach you to love yourself, it is something you have to learn on your own. Please don’t let anyone take away your shine. Be yourself, because being yourself is beautiful.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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