Growing up in a small town in the south, sometimes it was hard feeling like I could be myself. Feeling like I belonged. Honestly, a lot of times I felt so out of place. I always knew I was different than the other boys at school, or at church. Something in me felt different, and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. I was gay, and it's hard to know that, or figure it out, when you grow up in an environment that shelters you from it. Being gay, especially in the deep south, is not exactly the most encouraged thing for a boy. Aside from that, television, movies, radio, Disney, all I saw growing up was heterosexual relationships, and I didn't understand why I felt different. Was I broken? Did I need help?

Then came the teen years. Middle School was a melting pot of hormones and Axe body spray. Oh Middle School, what can I say…I, like many people, have tried to block that part of my life out of my memory. It was a hard time. I still didn't quite understand my feelings, but I just knew for some reason I liked other boys. But, the society I grew up in taught me that I was wrong. I honestly was terrified of gym class, especially the locker room. Every time I went into the locker room, I was in and out. My mission: Change my clothes and get out. For me the locker room was not a place for socializing, or showering, or sitting around waiting for the bell to ring. It was a horrible scary place, and that's all I'm going to say about it.

In Middle School I was bullied, mercilessly, and coming in around 4'6" and 90 lbs, there wasn't much I could do about it. I was called just about every derogatory term you could think of, pushed around, shot with hornets, you name it. I was being called gay before I even really knew what it was. I used to go home and cry every day after school. I didn't tell my parents, my siblings, my friends. I was so confused and I didn't know where to turn, and that went on for about three years.

Skip forward to high school: the fun part. Summer before Freshman year I hit a growth spurt, passed that golden 5' line. Now taller, I was a little less intimidated by others. These were the years when I finally realized I liked guys. I remember the first time I ever said it to myself, I cried. It felt so wrong. Around this time I saw more gay representation in the media, but it was all the same stereotypical, flamboyant, limp-wrist, token gay taking some girl shopping or getting coffee, and that wasn't me. In my mind I couldn't even be gay the "right" way. I was so confused, I cried a lot. Looking back…I was a big baby. The first two years of high school were spent full of fear and anxiety. My little self discovery really threw me through a loop.

My junior year of high school, I finally "came out of the closet." I was so afraid. I rehearsed what I was going to say to my family a million times. I watched "Coming Out" stories on Youtube, I had it all planned out, but could never figure out how to initiate it. I remember I came out October 12, 2011. It was my mom's birthday. "Happy Birthday, Mom! I'm gay!" Luckily, my family was very accepting. Mom, of course, played the obvious, "We love you no matter what" speech all mom's give, but it was my father's reaction that was my favorite. The very first thing my dad did when I came out was look over at my mom and say, "Well, now we don't have to worry about him knocking anyone up." I'm not even kidding. Here I am sobbing, pouring my heart out, and my dad's throwing a party! Turns out I was afraid for nothing. All those years I spent crying in the bathroom, hiding, depressed, afraid of what my family would say were wasted.

Now that I was out, I felt so free, but the problems didn't stop there. The bullying of course only got worse, I lost about 90 percent of my friends, had to switch churches, it was just a big mess. Part of me was really happy of me, but part of me was still so scared. I didn't know what I'd gotten myself into. It was illegal for me to get married, illegal (in some places) for me to adopt, people were getting murdered for being gay, many teens were committing suicide. Life wasn't looking too good. Being gay is a struggle, you have to become adept to rejection, it becomes a normal thing. I kept being told it would get better, and I honestly didn't believe that. I was wrong.

Flash forward, I'm about a foot taller, now a junior in college, and life is amazing. I have such a good friend base, I'm really involved, open, outgoing. Things have really gotten better, but not just for me as an individual, but the LGBT community all together. Same-sex marriage is legal! Gays are getting more rights, there is a growing social acceptance for the transgender community, it's all crazy. Looking back I never saw any of this coming. I didn't think it would ever happen.

I may be rambling, but what I'm trying to say is "it gets better." It really, truly, does, get better, and I want you to know that. I can say this from experience, it got better. There is a great big world out there, and while at times you may not feel like you have a promising future, you do. You will find happiness, you will find love, you will find yourself. I can't say when, I can't say how, but it will get better. My life is amazing, and I'm so glad I stuck around. You should, too.