I Have An Invisible Illness

I Have An Invisible Illness

But it does not define me.

John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

Being a teenager with an invisible illness is tough. I look perfectly fine on the outside. No one has any idea that I am sick unless I tell them, but I'm far from fine on the inside.

Having an invisible illness can be great when you go about life not looking like a typical sick person and no one knows the truth about your weak and damaged body. It's when people learn about your illness that it gets worse. Trust me, I get it, it's a hard concept to understand that someone who looks fine isn't actually fine; but just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Just because you can't see my illness, doesn't mean it isn't real and doesn't impact my daily life.

What you see on the outside is a beauty queen, a college student, a Tex-Mex fanatic, a proud and loving sister, daughter, girlfriend, and friend. What you don't see are the medications I take in the morning so I can function half as well as the typical girl my age, the specific workout plan I have to follow to try to train my heart to work properly, the hours I have to lay in bed or sit on the floor in the bathroom fighting my debilitating nausea or the multiple doctors appointments I have scheduled every week.

And that's okay because I don't want you to see all of that. I want you to think I'm alright and strong, a fighter; but when you find out the truth, I want you to be my friend. I want you to be okay with not understanding how I may feel okay after eating a meal one day, but feel sick after a meal the next, or that I can't always go out for social events because my body is too physically exhausted from trying to function. I'm not asking you to get it, I'm just asking you to accept it.

Last year, one of the people I considered my very best friend, didn't accept the fact that she didn't understand my invisible illness. Instead, she sent me the most hurtful and distressing text message I have ever received. It had many mean things written in it, but the most hurtful thing it read was, "Your illness is bullshit." Those words have affected me every day since I got that message because it was the first time in my life someone hadn't tried to understand.

I know that people don't understand my invisible illness because I try my hardest to prevent it from affecting my life. And I will never expect someone to understand. I know that I do my best to maintain a "normal" life and strive to be recognized for my accomplishments outside of my illness. But that isn't a reason to assume my illness isn't real.

If you know that I am sick, please just acknowledge it and accept it. Be ok with the fact that I may look healthy on the outside, but my body is fighting to stay alive on the inside. Please know that I do my best to participate in as many regular activities as I can because I want to be a part of your life too. Just please don't think my illness isn't real, please don't think I make it up for attention. Because if you lived a day in my life, you would know just how much I pray and wish I lived a regular life, like you.

I'm proud of my illness and I will never hide that it is a part of my life. I will continue to prove that my normal is just as good as your normal. I could never imagine a life without my illness because, without it, I wouldn't be who I am today.

It may be invisible, but it is real. I may look fine, but I am not. My illness is a part of me, but it does not define me. I am so much more than my illness.

All I ask is that you accept me for who I am and how God made me. I'm not asking you to understand why He made me this way...because I don't either.

Cover Image Credit: Alex Wilkins

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Everything You Need To Know About BANG Energy Drinks

Say goodbye to your favorite pre-workout drink.

BANG energy drinks from VPX Sports are the hottest new products for athletes everywhere. On every can, you'll find their catchphrase "Potent Brain & Body Fuel" and it gives you just that. Clean energy, laser-sharp focus, and no sugar induced crashes are just a few of the reasons these bad boys are flying off the shelves faster than retailers can keep them stocked. Haven't heard of them? Sound too good to be true? Let me answer your questions.

What is it? It's an energy drink that's kind of like your typical Red Bull or Monster. It's a perfect substitution for pre-workout supplements or coffee.

Who's it meant for? Anyone! A better question to ask is, "Who isn't this drink meant for?" On the can, you'll find a recommendation for no one under the age of 18 to consume the drink. You also may want to steer clear of it if you're sensitive to stimulants like caffeine.

What's in it? BANG energy drinks contain zero calories, zero carbohydrates, and zero sugar. But what you can find are BCAA's, CoQ10, creatine, and copious amounts of caffeine. These are things athletes often take as supplements.

What are BCAA's? BCAA's are Branched Chain Amino Acids. They are known to stimulate protein synthesis, increase muscle function, decrease your soreness after a workout, and even aid in repairing damaged muscles.

What's CoQ10? Coenzyme Q10 is found in the mitochondria of your cells and sparks energy production. It helps produce energy your body needs for cell growth and maintenance. People often take this as a dietary supplement when they feel tired or lethargic.

What's super creatine? Creatine does a great job in enhancing athletic performance by aiding growth of lean body mass (AKA muscle). When you take creatine orally, the amount in your muscles increase and helps regenerate ATP more efficiently. According to the nutrition label, this so-called "super" creatine is bonded to Leucine to make Creatyl-L-Leucine. On SupplementReviews.com, a VPX Sports representative allegedly said the following about the Super Creatine in the drink:

"The creatine in there is actually something very special...it is the world's only water stable creatine. It is Creatine-Leucine peptide. Think of this...if you mix creatine in water, it sinks and if you mix leucine in water, it floats....if you combine the two into a peptide, it creates a water soluble and water-stable form of creatine. It also has a fatty acid chain that makes it easier to cross the blood brain barrier. The focus of the super creatine is not for muscle function, but for cognition...by combining this form of creatine with caffeine, it works synergistically for mental focus."

How much caffeine is in one can? In one can of BANG, you'll be blessed with 300mg of caffeine. This is the equivalent to over three cups of coffee.

Is that even safe? Yeah, it is. In order for the caffeine in the energy drink to be lethal at any capacity, I would have to drink 30.7 cans.

So, what are the downsides? There are two things that come to mind. One is that consumers have no idea how much BCAA's, CoQ10, or creatine is actually in the drink. It could very likely be trace amounts too small to do anything beneficial. Two, BANG energy drinks do not go through the FDA approval process.

Is it really that good? Well, out of 113 reviews of the product on Bodybuilding.com, there's an average 9.6 overall rating. Most reviews comment on the quality of the energy, the cognitive focus, and the non-existent crash once the drink wears off.

What kind of flavors can I get? There are currently eight BANG energy drink flavors on the market: Black Cherry Vanilla, Cotton Candy, Sour Heads, Star Blast, Blue Razz, Champagne Cola, Power Punch, and Lemon Drop.

Where can I buy BANG energy drinks? You can find BANG energy drinks at Amazon, your local GNC or Vitamin Shoppe retailers, Bodybuilding.com, VPX Sports' website, some gas stations, and privately owned retailers.

How expensive are they? This depends on where you make your purchase. The cheapest place to purchase your BANG energy drinks is at Bodybuilding.com for about $2.00 per can. You can find similar prices on Amazon and at your local retailers. The energy drinks are most expensive through the VPX website where you'll pay about $2.75 per can.

How does BANG compare to other energy drinks? I'll give you some data on nutrition facts and you can make your decisions based on that:

16 oz. BANG: 300mg caffeine, 0g carbohydrates, 0g sugar.

16 oz. Monster Energy (regular): 160mg caffeine, 54g carbohydrates, 54g sugar

16 oz. Red Bull (regular): 160mg caffeine, 56g carbohydrates, 56g sugar

16 oz. Rockstar (regular): 144g caffeine, 54g carbohydrates, 54g sugar

Cover Image Credit: Youtube

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You Attract the Energy That You Put Out Into the Universe

Like Attracts Like.


Everything we think, feel, do, has an effect.

We attract what we are, not what we ideally desire ourselves to be. Whatever energy you put into the universe is exactly what you will receive back from it. Though I might not be able to entirely explain such a phenomenon, I can say that it is somewhat analogous to Newton's third law of motion or to Quantum Physics. Newton's third law of motion essentially states that every action has an opposite and equal reaction.

Though this law is used to describe physical motion, it can also in a sense be used to describe a much broader idea of energy. This is also where quantum physics actually gets involved. In it's most basic form, quantum physics strives to explain the nature of the smallest scale of atomic and subatomic particles, and the vibration and movement of such particles, including all forms of energy of course. In fact, some have even claimed that quantum physics even supports ideas such as "The Law of Attraction". Which as I have said, essentially just states that like energy in the universe attracts like energy.

When I look at some of the things I have been blessed with: love, happiness, success, meaningful friendships, I sometimes shake my head in disbelief at how blessed I am. And sometimes I even catch myself asking how I got so lucky. But the answer is pretty simple. Like energy attracts like energy.

I tend to consider myself a very happy person in general. When I'm not hangry, or deep in thought, you can usually catch me with a smile on my face. Even in the worst of circumstances, I always try to look on the bright side, even when such a thing is difficult to do.

Still, even with being as happy of a person as I generally am, I'm only human and life can get me down sometimes and I have to work hard to not allow for negative thoughts to consume me. I actively choose to try and think positively and because of this, I tend to attract positive energy, positive people, and positive situations into my life rather than negative energy, negative people, and negative situations. Because of the way that I think and the positive energy that I project, my reality has been shaped by these two factors.

Regardless of where the idea that you attract the energy that you give comes from, there is a lot of truth behind this way of thinking. While you might not have control over every situation which happens to you, you are in control of how you react, and that's what's even more important.

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