I don't usually do New Years resolutions, as I feel like having a set time to start a goal just isn't for me, as I like to do things on my own terms.
However, this year is a little different.
When it came time for me to reflect on the year that I have had, I noticed something. That something being that I have a tendency to invest myself into people too much sometimes, only to not get much back.
Now friendships don't always have to 'give something back' to you, but when you are finding that people aren't treating you the same, perhaps then there is an issue.
When I choose to care about someone, I put my whole heart forward. I don't choose many people but if I do, then I give that friendship my all.
I have learned though that sometimes you need to pull back. If they need you they will ask.
I like to think that I am self aware enough though to recognize that this is mostly my fault, as I put too much in sometimes.
After realizing that this was something in my life that may me worth putting in effort to improve upon I was left with the question of how can I even do better at this?
Do I just stop caring about those who don't care for me as much?
That seemed to be a little dramatic and like an unviable solution.
I guess the only way to improve upon this is to care still, but to just try and not invest myself as much.
Again, I want to clarify that of course not all friendships need to be a give and give back kind of situation, however, the friendships that I have with people who support me consistently and are always there for me are very rewarding.
Those are the kinds of relationships I want to strive for.
If I am there for you, I want you to be there for me.
So going in to 2020 I am going to try my best to pull back and focus on the relationships that do have a lot of rewarding aspects.