Being An Introvert Does Not Make You A Bad Friend

Being An Introvert Does Not Make You A Bad Friend

Needing your space should not result in having your ability to be a good friend questioned
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I had a friend come up to me once, crying her eyes out, telling me how she thought our friendship was coming to an end because I stayed in my room for a week reading books. I was not only puzzled but I was amused because I had no clue what was going on or why she would think that the two were related.

I should have seen that coming the way that I felt responsible to keep my bedroom door open so it wouldn't hurt anyone. Hurt anyone? Keeping my bedroom door closed while I am in it, hurts people? Interestingly enough, that isn't the only time someone has ever been concerned about our friendship because I wanted to be alone for a few days or a few weeks, even after having communicated that.

I never thought being an introvert was a problem until I came to college. It is honestly crazy how agonizing it is for others to understand that I, and a lot of other people, want to be alone six, maybe even seven, days out of the week. That I want to do things alone, like shop, eat out, go to a movie, or go to the gym. Actually, I want to do everything and most things alone. I love my friends and family, but it gets tiring having to entertain others. It should never be something that is taken personally, but as an introvert, my energy is restored by doing things and being alone but that does not make me a bad friend.

Most people cannot and do not try to understand introverts. They instead, blow your phone up wondering why you are dodging all plans and asking if you two are still friends. And you, even having communicated the way you are and jokingly talk about being an introvert, question your ability to be a good friend to others. Well, stop, the only reason you associate your introversion with being a bad friend is because of those you hang around.

As long as you are communicating who you are to your friends, how they respond to that is out of your control. Wanting alone time, wanting to do things alone, and saying "no" to plans does not make you a bad friend. Not constantly texting them back or answering their phone calls does not make you a bad friend. In fact, everyone knows I hate phone calls and for some reason, my friends still find the nerve to call me and then ask why I did not pick up. But, I am not a bad friend and not answering calls or wanting to constantly text them does not mean that I do not cherish what I have with them.

We live in a time where we are expected to drop all responsibilities for our friends. This means that whatever we are doing is less important than texting our friends back and letting them know that we are still on for plans tomorrow. Because, if not, our friendship is questioned. Somehow our ability to be a good friend has become measured by how well we keep constant communication. This becomes hard for introverts to live comfortably in.

There is a growing negative connotation regarding introverts and introversion. You are not "anti-social" and you do not "hate" people. You actually get along with others great, but your time being social is not as long as others want it to be. In fact, it would make your friends more comfortable if you were social for longer periods of time. But, you are not here to make them feel comfortable.

Feeling comfortable is the only reason your friends have a problem with you being the way you are. There is nothing wrong with saying "no" to every other plan or every single plan but one. There is nothing wrong with going in your room and shutting your door. There is nothing wrong with going out one night and then wanting the whole week to yourself.

It is who you hang around, and to be honest, even friends in college are childish. Never think a friend needs to stop asking you to hang out because you say no, after communicating how you enjoy your alone time. Never think a friend needs to isolate themselves from you or "give you time away" because of what you prefer. Stop blaming yourself and thinking you are a bad friend because of what you would rather do.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert and you are not a bad friend. You have become conditioned to think that the things you prefer cannot be understood and so they are a problem. Which is not your fault, only those you hang around.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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