I grew up in a small town that is approximately 98% white. I currently attend a college that is about 98% black. It was a bit of a culture shock, to say the least. But I took it in stride and never thought twice about my decision to attend the nation's first and finest HBCU, Cheyney University. I was raised to be open-minded and to judge others based on their character, not their color. That is exactly what I did. It wasn't that much of a surprise when I started dating a black man.
This is what I realized when I brought the man I was dating to my hometown: not everyone is as open-minded as me. I heard quite a few comments that rubbed me the wrong way such as "if you have children they will be Oreo's" or "you're so pretty, why would you date a black man?" Honestly, though, the comment that continues to amaze me is "oh, you're interested in black men? You'll probably get raped."
Let's start with the first comment. "If you have children they will be Oreo's." The term is mixed. If we were to have children they would be beautiful mixed babies. But aside from that, who said I was having kids? I'm 20 years old with a lot to do before I want to have children, let alone children with a man that I just started seeing, not that it is anyone's business but my own.
Onto the second comment. "You're so pretty, why would you date a black man?" Oh the ignorance. What does my beauty have to do with it? If I was ugly would it be acceptable then? I am a smart woman who will date whoever I please. If he treats me well then it shouldn't matter what his color is.
So now we are on the last comment. "Oh, you're interested in black men? You'll probably get raped." This is NEVER okay to say. I truly hope that karma bites the people who say this. I am completely dumbfounded as to why this is even said considering most arrests for rape and sex crimes are of white men.
There is something that I will never understand, though. Why does the color of the man that I am dating matter so much? Does it make him any less of a person? Does it mean he is any less educated? Does it mean he is a hood rat? The answer to all three of those questions is no. The color of a man does not determine his worth. As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr once said, "I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." Before going to Cheyney University, I had believed that we were at that day. It is abundantly clear that we are not even close.
I will leave you all with this: if your significant other treats you the way that you feel you deserve to be treated, nothing else matters. Not his color, not what other people think, and most certainly not the ignorant comments that people make. You just keep working together to be the beautiful Kings and Queens that you are.