Growing up in a diverse place like NYC as a Bengali-American isn't difficult because you can surround yourself with other people that are exactly like you. Sometimes I didn't even notice certain key things about American culture because I was so wrapped up in the culture being enforced at home for me. Stepping out of my home and being in school, I started noticing that my culture is different from just Bengali people and just American people, so I started identifying as Bengali-American. When my American friends would ask me about my culture, I would hesitate to answer because I wasn't entirely sure what being Bengali-American meant to me so how could I possibly explain it to someone else? Years of not being able to explain my culture has led me to be the butt of everyone's "Indian Jokes" and a whole lot of ignorance. Now that I'm confident in who I am, here's a few lessons on how to interact with me and other Bengali- Americans.
1. Just because I'm Bengali doesn't mean I know everything about Bangladesh or India.
I might know a significant amount about the culture in Bangladesh, but I've never even been there. Some of my Bengali-American friends may have visited Bangladesh once or twice but how can you expect anyone to know everything about their culture? Don't expect me to know every single detail about it. The only culture that I probably know very well is the culture in Queens, New York because that's where I was born and raised!
2. Imitating an Indian Accent isn't funny if you're not Indian.
Here's a little secret: we actually hate it when people imitate our accent. Indian accent jokes done by another southeast asian man is funny because it's relatable but if you're just laughing at the accent, it's kind of racist.
3. No, I don't speak Indian.
This is probably one of the most frustrating questions I've ever been asked. Were you referring to Hindi??? Indian isn't a language. Actually, I'm Bangladeshi and part Indian. I speak and understand Bengali. Yes, I understand Hindi thanks to the years of Indian Soap Operas and Bollywood movies I've watched.
4. DON'T Namaste at me, I'm not Hindu.
I appreciate your interest in my culture, I really do, but treat me like an American. Just ask me what my religion is and I'll tell you that I'm Muslim and how we greet each other. Most of the time, I greet people by saying "hello" because, ya know, I'm American.
5. Don't start your sentences with "Shouldn't you be..."
Don't be that guy! I know what I should be doing! If there's something that you think I should be doing that I'm not doing, you're probably wrong because there's certain things I'm choosing not to do.
6. No, we don't all only eat curry/ fish curry or whatever it is you assume we eat.
I love curry! When I go away from home, I really miss my dad's cooking and start craving various kinds of curry and kebabs but that is not the only thing I eat. I'm aware of other kinds of food as well because I'm also American. Every time I have this conversation with my American friends they also seem to think it's okay to mention that the Indian kids they knew smelled like curry all the time and how I'm the most pleasant smelling "Indian" that they have ever met. Dude, that's not okay. You can not make comments like that.
7. I'm actually not 'exotic'.
I don't take being called "exotic" the same thing as being called beautiful, if that's what you're thinking. You're calling me foreign when I was raised in New York. I've been here my entire life so I consider myself more American than Bengali. Yes, there are minor differences because my home life is different from yours but, everything else, including my way of thinking; choice of career; and daily activities is very American.