Co-written by Grace Maneein, Margaret Xiao, Safa Ahmed, Shreya Ravichandran and Crystal Dai
As Hasfa Mansoor said, "Being a minority is not an experience that can be shared with the majority." There’s pride in our origins, and what we experience makes us stand out from the rest. However, oftentimes, we are still at the hands of the majority. It is not out of malice that we suffer, but instead, the tiny, nagging reminder that we do not fully belong in the grand scheme of things, because we’re different. Usually, we are able to ignore these differences in everyday life — we’re used to it.
Though we are able to endure stereotypical comments and maybe even joke along, there are lines that need to be drawn. And oftentimes, people unconsciously cross those lines. Our experiences range from being infuriating to just plain hilarious. And though the majority cannot fully understand how we feel, here are 12 occurrences, explained.
1. The “Smart One”
It always surprises people that I don’t really like being called the “smart one.” They say, ”But that’s a compliment! You should accept it!” However, I hate it when others use their race as an excuse for their lack of success. It infuriates me when someone says, “I probably didn’t get a good grade, but it’s not like I can beat the Asians.”
No. You can’t beat the Asians because you didn’t do the work. Asians are not inherently smart, and I’d much rather be recognized for my hard work than for someone else’s excuse.
2. The Observer of the Irrelevant
Someone once had the gall to say, when I was well in earshot, that people of minorities were incapable of making friends outside their minority. And when they spotted me, instead of apologizing, going red-faced or showing distress of any sort, they asked, “Why are all your friends Asian?”
I have many non-Asian friends and many Asian friends, and yet, she chose not to recognize my non-Asian friends as my friends. Even if I only had Asian friends, there was no need for her to dump me into the spotlight for something as irrelevant as the ethnicities of my friends.
3. “Go back to your country.”
Being in a minority has its ups and downs, but one huge downside is the stereotypes and negative comments targeted at someone for his or her race. I once was talking with my friend about America’s current issues shortly after an incident had happened that had shaken the whole country, and suddenly, she told me to “go back to my country” because I was speaking negatively about what was happening in America. Stuff like this can happen, granted, but her being my friend and having the nerve to say this? It’s not something I can take lightly.
4. “It smells like curry!”
My family was moving to a new state, and we had to sell our house. Usually, we leave the house before the real estate agent, and the potential buyers come to see the house, but one day we were running a bit late. We left the house as an agent and a white couple was entering the property. The next day, their agent called us and said they weren’t interested in the house. When my father asked for feedback, the agent simply replied, “My clients said the house smelled like curry.”
There’s just one tiny problem: we hadn’t cooked in the house for the past week and had only been eating normal “American” meals. In addition, my mom had sprayed the house with Febreeze before we left. Does racism induce delusional smelling of scents that aren’t there?
5. The Omnipresent Restaurant
My parents manage and own restaurants, and I’ve always been a bit embarrassed by that. When other parents are at school events supporting their children, my parents are working. When other parents are taking their children out for a spring break vacation, my parents schedule me multiple shifts to fill in after those who are not here.
There are so many things they’ve missed out on my life and vise versa. There are so many times when I wanted to talk to them, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so. There’s a barrier, and it seems impossible to get over it. But in the end, they’re constantly working to benefit my sister and I, and I couldn’t be any more proud.
6. Out-Of-Country Stereotyping
I was eight, and my mother had dumped me into a summer camp full of natives in an Asian country so that I would improve my Chinese. The teacher announced me as the “newest recruit, straight from America!” None of the children believed me or the teacher about my American citizenship. “You’re lying,” the Asian children said. “You don’t have blonde hair or blue eyes.”
It was frustrating, to say the least, to realize that in addition to being stereotyped in America, I wouldn’t even be recognized as American due to my Asian ethnicity.
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7. On A Scale From “Normal A” to “Asian A"
My grades are something I don’t take as a joke, and I’ve worked hard for years to get where I am. Something I like to do is reward myself every half a semester by looking at my grades and taking a few days to appreciate myself for them. I don’t do it often because for some reason, others use sarcasm in place of “Oh, nice job!” when I do well on a test.
For example, I’ll say that I got a 100 on a test, and the other person will roll her eyes and counter back with an, “Of course, you did. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be allowed to have dinner, right?”
Come again? I’m sorry you’re so upset that I received a good test grade, but next time, keep my ethnicity out of it.
8. The Sandwich Lady
A few years ago, a TSA security officer asked us, ”Did you bring any raw food in the country?” My mom managed to stammer,”SANDWICH” to the confusion of everyone in the room. The officer then asked her, "Do you speak English?” In my best white people voice I told her, “Yes, yes we do.” I explained how I threw a sandwich that had been in one of our bags beforehand.
However, she must not have appreciated my sass because she told me to dig out the sandwich from the trash can. After I couldn’t remember where I threw away my sandwich (like any normal person), the officer couldn’t leave without ordering us to go through security a second time. Standing in the line, I realized not one single person there was white. It was quite an eye opening experience for me to see firsthand how such a wonderful country like America has people like that officer who abuse their power to discriminate against others.
And in the end, we almost missed our flight because of one stupid sandwich.
9. “Asian, Asian, always know the equation.”
My friend transferred into my class, and within days, he started singing “Asian, Asian, always know the equation.” And of course, everyone around us heard him, and they too went along with it. I quickly became the Asian who was good at math, but boy, were they wrong. On multiple occasions when they asked me for math help, and I would shrug and say, “I’ve done this before, but I don’t remember how.” They eventually gave up asking because I was useless. They expected more from me, but little did they know that I sucked at math.
Despite being at the top level math class, I wing my way through the year and forget how to do something as soon as the unit test is over. So, lesson learned: do not ever assume.
10. Representing Two Different Countries At Once
There’s a lot of trouble in having to balance being a child in America and still sticking to your native roots. My parents understand that it’s difficult to balance the two, but I am still forced to confine myself to a simple lifestyle that doesn’t stray too far away from being Asian or American. India likes a conservative outfit as a go-to choice, but America is now built on a society that wants to be provocative. Fine by me, but that’s not something I am into.
But when deciding my outfit in the spring or summer (thankfully, fall and winter call for full coverage), it’s tough to choose what I personally will feel comfortable in while being aware of what my parents expect from me as an Indian girl. It’s a slight struggle, but in the end, it all comes down to what I personally want.
11. Sushi Beggars
Every single time I bring sushi to school as my lunch, someone has to ask, “Did you make it?” I enjoy cooking, so yes, I made it. But that doesn’t mean that every East Asian person in America, or even Japan, knows how to cook sushi. To top it all off, they always ask, “Can you make me some?”
First of all, what is your name again? Second of all, no.
12. Yes, my skin is brown. Yes, I can speak English.
I have been an avid reader ever since I learned how to read and my English was just as good as the students in my class. When I moved to public school, I tested to be placed in all advanced core classes. Ironically, I was also placed in an ESOL class solely because of the fact that I was brown. I spoke to my teacher and immediately tested out of that darned class. The minimum score required to test out was a 3, and I got a full score, further proving that I did not belong there.
The next year, I was selected by my fourth grade classmates to represent them in a meeting with school administration to improve our school. I spoke about the unfairness in their method of placing students in ESOL. Ethnicity is not an indicator of how well a person can speak the English language. The principal immediately set about fixing the ESOL program. I may have helped change one school, but it’s going to take a lot more to fix this stigma.