How someone appears on the outside is not always how they feel on the inside. Fact. Everyone is fighting their own battles, internally, day in and day out. For me, I struggle with my own insecurities and anxieties. Some days, it’s worse than others. Some days, it doesn’t affect me at all. Others, my insecurities are all I can think about.

My insecurities are a constant reminder to me that I don’t feel good enough. Comparing myself to others has always been my downfall. And I know, I’ve heard it all before about how you can’t compare yourself to other people because it won’t do you any good. But the thing is, I still subconsciously do.

Whether it’s a comparison of how well I grasp the material in class, a comparison of how I perform in social settings or a comparison of outward appearances, I compare myself to others all the time. It can get difficult, seemingly impossible, to take myself out of that dark place where I am never good enough.

There’s always someone better in that class. There’s always someone who can make friends more easily. There’s always someone who somehow manages to look flawless at 9 am on a Monday morning.

Sometimes it can get to be too much and I wonder what I really am good for, if I’m not that spectacular at anything. I’m not an incredibly athletic person (in fact, I have absolutely no coordination), I don’t typically understand math and science concepts in school, and I don’t have this secret amazing talent I can bust out of nowhere to dazzle my peers. Being just average can make me feel well-below average.

When I start to think like this though, I have to remind myself of the things that I can do really well. I can say horrible jokes that still manage to make someone laugh. My baking can make anyone get excited, even if I’m not the one to go to with complicated recipes.

I go above and beyond to try to do little things to make my friends happy when their day is down. The biggest thing that makes me happy is making others happy and changing their lives as much as I can.

Living with insecurities is no easy feat. It can impact my days to the point where I don’t even want to be around other people. It can be hard to remind myself that they aren’t true, especially if something happens in my life where I start to feel as though it’s not me being insecure, but instead something that is just true and a fact about me that I try to deny.

So I pick my head up and try to carry on as best I can.

The most important thing is that my insecurities do not define me. They’ll be with me for the rest of my life, evolving as time goes on, but what matters is that I remember that they don’t run the show. I do. I’m a strong person, and I can get through anything.