In The Face Of Adversity
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Health and Wellness

In The Face Of Adversity

Real-life stories from people who have been there.

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In The Face Of Adversity
Living Delight

Hard times are universal, although it sometimes seems as though we are all alone in dealing with our troubles. We often feel sadness, frustration, and confusion in our lives. When there appears to be no end in sight, it is important to remember that it is possible to overcome the challenges that face you and emerge with a newfound strength. What follows are four raw, unedited stories that hopefully will serve as solace and inspiration that it is possible to overcome adversity, even in the darkest of times.

Michaela, 19

My life changed forever on a Monday night in early April. I watched closely as my mom took one final breath before she slipped away. Nothing can really ever prepare you for that moment, even if you know it's coming. She had put up one hell of a fight for three years and now she was at peace, but my fight was far from over and peace was a foreign concept to me. I found myself at nineteen years old: grieving and faced with finding a new normal, without my mom/best friend.

Returning to school was inevitably tough, it was incredibly difficult to leave my dad and my sister the day after the funeral. The adjustment was rough and there were days I wish I could just drive home to my family. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option as finals were a month away and I had missed 2 weeks of class. Cue the stress and the anxiety. As overwhelmed as I felt, this was at this point that I realized how much I had to be grateful for. When times are tough and you feel like you've hit bottom, focus on your passions. For me it was immersing myself further in the organizations on campus that I was apart of and spending time with my friends and family. Instead of staying in bed everyday and crying, I was attended club meetings, spending time with my ZTA sisters, or watching movies with my boyfriend. It was at that point I truly realized that I was going to pull through this, I was going to be okay.

Don't get me wrong, there are good days and bad days. Being emotional and upset is just apart of coming to terms with your situation. So be kind to yourself and let it out. My dad has always told me to take things one day at a time. Through this journey I have learned that it's okay to even take things an hour or a minute at a time.

My mom only passed away three months ago and I'm certainly not an expert in this area! But the thought that the lessons I learned at a vulnerable time in my life could help someone else in a difficult situation made me want to share my story and advice.

Judah, 22

I was born on August 4th, 1994. I don’t remember exactly how many siblings I have because my mother has had too many children for me to keep count. I know for a fact that I do have one brother, Benjamin. We were taken away from our mother at young ages. Luckily, Child Protective Services kept us together. I lived in many different homes with my brother. It felt like every week we were moving to a different foster home. I remember one lady specifically: Sister Ruby. Every day she would abuse me, and leave scars on my body in places that were covered by clothes. She literally beat the fear into me. To this day, I have a burning hatred for that woman. I was just a kid, how could you abuse a poor 4-year-old boy? I’ve seen many things in my life that I wish I had never seen; such as, my brother getting raped, my mother testing drugs out on my brother, and kids beating up kids for fun.

The group home was the worst. There is no difference between prison and a group home, I can promise you that. My brother protected me from being beaten up by the other foster kids, but while he was protecting me, it was damaging him, and setting him up for failure down the road. When violence is all you know as a child, it becomes a part of your life. Pain seems normal and all you know is how to hurt people physically, mentally, & emotionally. Growing up in a foster home or group home is one of the worst things ever. Most homes look at you as a paycheck and not as a life. Every day I lived in Hell and in fear. I knew one day I would be 18 and I would never have to look back at those terrible places.

Fortunately, when I was eight, I was adopted with my older brother Ben. I was adopted by an amazing family who truly cared for me. Sadly, my brother didn’t understand the concept of love. Ben caused so much trouble that he was taken away and put back in the system. This time he was looking at prison. He became a victim to the system once again, but this time, he wasn’t allowed to leave. I’ve been a prisoner my whole life, and did not want my life to turn into a life of crime. I wanted to know what it was like to live on the other side. That is easier said than done.

By the age of 12, I moved to Israel with my adopted father. My adopted parents got a divorce and my brother was a ward of the state in Texas. Israel was a huge change for me. I didn’t have my brother there to protect me and I didn’t speak the language, so I didn’t know how to fit in.My life took an unexpected turn, and I started stealing from my father and others, who didn’t deserve it. I felt like money was the way to freedom. I was caught one day by the police and was sentenced to 2 years in a reform boarding school. The minute those gates opened, I knew that I didn’t want to be there. It’s a beautiful campus on the surface, but the students were horrible. I walked through the gates, and immediately I get jumped. The beatings happened for about a month, until one day a Russian kid came up to me and said “Judah, if you want to survive here, you have to lose all fear. You can’t be scared of anyone, or anything.” From that moment on, I turned into a animal. I started hitting the gym, and I signed up for muay thai classes. When someone looked at me funny, I didn’t ask questions. I swung first. After a while, nobody messed with me, I made life long friends.

My brother contacted me through Facebook in 2009. He told me he was living with our adopted mother. I was so eager to see my brother again. My dad didn’t want me to go. He refused and begged me not to go. One day, I was fed up with him saying no and I punched my father in the face. To this day, I still regret that mistake. So, my adopted father eventually bought me a ticket back to America. He hugs me and said goodbye. Little did I know, that would be the last time I ever spoke to my adopted father. I landed in New Jersey on December 31st. I saw my adopted mother and my brother for the first time in years. I met her new husband, who is an amazing man. The happy ever after was not in New Jersey, either. A few months go by, and my brother ends up in rehab. Eventually, he went back to prison for a five year sentence. I’m all alone again. To make matters worse, my mother kicked me out at 16, so I was sleeping on my friends' couches.

When I turned 18, I realized that I was done living under people’s rules. So I started studying, and tried to perfect myself. Every day I would read and listen to motivational speakers. Trial and error occurred for many years. But finally, things changed for me. Pieces started coming together. No at age 22, I own a landscaping company, and am an event planner in NYC, as well as a real estate investor in Brooklyn. Every day, I find out how I can better myself so when it’s my turn to start a family, they will never have to go through the things I have.

I just wanted the troubled youth & adults out there to know that it’s never too late. The world is yours, your dreams can become realities. You just have to fight for what you want because it’s not going to come easy, I promise you. Every day is still a struggle for me. It does not get easier. That’s life though. Eventually, everything you ever wanted you will have right before your eyes, and you will realize it was all worth it. The pain, the tears, the hustle will make you stronger than you’ve ever been before. No matter what, if you want a better life, you can get it. It’s all about taking those first steps and never giving up!

Alisha, 17

My 15-year-old sister has autism and it's been really tough trying to balance my own education and social life, and then taking care of her social life and her school work, and making sure someone is on top of her grades. It was really hard watching her try to make her way through high school, and life in general, and see that people weren't the most kind or the most accepting. I guess you could say that I worked to overcome that by working with [my sister] constantly, not just as her mentor but as a friend. With my guidance, she's not only doing great in school, but she discovered a passion that keeps her grounded (painting and art) and developed social skills that transformed her from an introverted caterpillar to a social butterfly! Our relationship is definitely not like the ones in the movies but I love her a lot! She's such a strong person and though she has her moments, she's a completely different person today, versus when she was first diagnosed when she was two and completely nonverbal.

Fred, 48

I was obsessed with the ridiculous fear of failing out of school, among other things, so one of my compulsions was repeating a phrase in my mind whenever I felt any anxiety towards it. This was not something I could control. Unfortunately, my anxiety was high and I was at the point where I couldn’t stop repeating it, something similar to “The Aviator,” the time at the end when Howard Hughes (DiCaprio) repeats over and over again, “It’s the way of the future…the way of the future…the way of the future,” as he throws his hat down in disgust because he can’t stop saying it.

So this one high school basketball game, I’m repeating a similar phrase over and over again while trying to listen to the coach. The one from “The Aviator” is the least terrifying to me, so I’ll use that one.

Coach: “Fred, you play point guard today and guard #12.” Fred: “Ok Coach”,
My head: “It’s the way of the future, the way of the future, way of the future.”

Coach: “Full court press from the beginning, let’s go.”
I get the ball inbounds, “it’s the way of the future, the way of the future…” and hit a layup while I’m fouled hard to the floor “It’s the way of the future, the way of the future…”. I was standing at the free throw line to finish off the three point play. “Way of the future, of the future...”
The Coach at halftime said, “Fred, pay attention, you have three fouls in the first half, and two of them were stupid…”
“Way of the future…way of the future, of the future...”
“I don’t understand you. Some games you’re on. Others, you just don’t seem to be focusing.”
”The way of the future, way of the future”.
“What did I just say?”
“Coach, you were saying I need to be more consistent and focus better…”
“Way of the future, of the future, of the future…”
“Good, I’m glad you’re listening!!!”
“Way of the future…”
We win the game. “Good job guys, Fred, I saw better focus in the second half.”
“It’s the way of the future…”

After the game, I get ready for my evening meal and afterwards head to the library to study for three hours. During all three hours, “The way of the future, of the future” continues in my head until lights out.

“Way of the future, of the future…” I’m tired from the game and from studying, but my mind won’t shut up. I try to fall asleep during the next two hours, praying for this to stop. “The way of the future…” My brain has somehow burnt out for the day and I fall asleep. I dream about my fear of not making it to formation on time, while my mind continues, “The way of the future…” in my dream. I wake up too tired to even think. For 45 minutes, my mind is quiet. I think to myself, "Maybe today’s the day my mind stops with this phrase! I’m sure my grades will be fine.”

10 minutes later, I’m in the bathroom stall with my head in my hands as my mind starts all over again “The way of the future, way of the future, way of the future….” I chastise myself for shedding tears, hold it in as best I can, and start my day over again by heading to class. “The way of the future...”

Six days later, it stops. I get a three day break from my mind, until my next OCD episode. Who knows what it will be this time. Pinching contact lenses, shaking my head, constantly asking my professors for assurance, walking through certain hallways only on the right and counting the steps, etc.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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