When you get to really know me I have a lot to say, you learn things I have been wanting to tell people every day. But it always got left on the back burner, slowly waiting in the corner.
In A Matter Of Time
In a matter of time
you'll see what's on my mind.
How I truly feel and what's really real.
My heart is afraid
that my mind may take
the growth I have yet to chase
and create it into something it wasn't meant to be in the first place.
So here I am sitting on something
trying to learn a new life lesson.
Might by crying over too many emotions
or attaching to someone I know will help me see God in the commotion.
I may be alone overthinking every daily action
and judging myself by over-analyzing the simple interaction.
My stutter plays a role and wants that satisfaction
to make me feel not good enough as my reaction.
In a matter of time
You'll see what was on my mind.
How I truly feel
and what's really real.
Still, I find myself not wanting anyone to really know how I truly think
because I'm afraid you might leave in a blink.
And somehow I find my escape
in the things I have always known to always fill that space
I have a wall and yet to the outside, it seems so small.
I put on a brave face for the show
when all I want to do is break down and let it go.
When you get to really know me I have a lot to say
You learn things I have been wanting to tell people every day.
But it always got left on the back burner
slowly waiting in the corner.
In a matter of time
You'll see what's been on my mind.
How I truly feel
and what's really real.
Love is a word that is so unknown
Growing up that word was twisted all alone.
So defense, manipulation, and repressed became home
Who knew they would start breaking and showing you what you should've known.
There's an elephant in the room and that me who can't talk like you
So I avoid and protect myself in case everything becomes blue.
I tend to always find comfort in what I have always known
Even though it's been a downright battle facing it alone.
Yet here I am trying to pick up a new way of thinking
I want to feel those old ways stop linking.
Sometimes when I stop I see
I see what the newness could truly be.
In a matter of time
you'll see what's really on my mind.
How I truly feel
and what's really real.