Taking Time To Better Understand Others Is Imperative

Taking Time To Better Understand Others Is Imperative

As you are cautious of your own personal feelings, remember that it is ever so important to take care of those around you.


There is a difference between self-love and self-loathing. There is a difference between self-care and neglect. There is a difference between knowing your potential and disregarding your self-worth. We as people understand when it is time to step back from the harsh realities of the world that often weigh us down, whether they initiate in the workplace, at home, or are projected upon us from the people we care most for. Yet, in actuality, do we as people fully comprehend when it is time to remove the focus from ourselves and take a deeper look into the lives of those around us?

One year ago today, I took the time to write a piece about the importance of taking the time to better understand one's self. It was at that time that I was questioning the decisions I had made in regards to my future and longed for a sense of self-realization with the hopes that I would feel a sense of security in the choices I had made.

I spoke of analyzing the intentions of the journey I planned to embark on, as well as the significance of better taking care of myself along the way. After looking back on the words I had written one year later, I hold each and every one of them to be true. They are values that I live by, and I continue to believe that, if you do not strive to be the best person you can be, you will be unable to be the best you can be for those around you. It was at that moment that a different sense of self-realization struck me. Now that I have come to better understand myself, have I done enough to better understand others?

I feel as though there is a certain sense of judgment we are inclined to pass on others. We receive opportunities for first impressions and often gather our opinions from there. We hold our guards to the highest of extents before we allow ourselves to let people in - before we allow ourselves to gain an understanding of them.

Throughout my life I have found that it often takes months, even years, to comprehend the true notion of how a person operates. We often do not know what struggles the people we surround ourselves may be facing. Frankly, in today's society, people choose to internalize their problems rather than externalize them. I strongly believe that, in order to better understand a person, it is imperative to be open with them. You can only hope that you will receive the same sense of openness in return, though unfortunately, we are not always that fortunate.

One of the greatest abilities to possess is the willingness to communicate. For without it, things often get destroyed. It is crucial to let others know that you will be there to take care of them if they are in need - to provide them with a bond that can remain unbroken within the most treacherous of times. In order to better understand others, you must be ready to give of yourself. Give of your time, give of your patience, give all that you have. It will never go unnoticed.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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When You Decide You Don't Love Me Anymore

I'll forgive you.


I never thought I would write this, but I feel like I have to: there will come a day where you won't love me anymore. This won't be a sad day, but instead a day I have waited for all along. You see, they all leave and that is perfectly okay. People may not be meant to be in my life for all of it, not in any of our lives but this is normal and although initially saddening it is a part of our lives and inevitably part of our journey.

When this time comes I want you to know that we did our best, that we were in fact in love once and that we had hoped it would blossom into a lifetime commitment but it didn't and I accept that and will respect you always. I know you did not wake up one day out of the blue and stop loving me, I know this feeling grew over time in your heart and that it was not something you planned on. I respect this.

You were the only person I trusted and the one I loved the most, but nothing lasts forever and I hope you can understand there is no animosity here and certainly, no stone left unturned. We just are not those kinds of people, we would have tried everything to keep our love burning bright and tried for quite a while to understand where the cracks began so that could fix them, it just isn't that simple. Love is a long complicated process, you know that and falling in love with me couldn't have been easy, I am misunderstood and stubborn as all hell and I am FULLY aware of that but that does not mean I didn't try to ease up on you, I promise I did my best.

I have always done my best to understand you, to make you happy, to keep the flame alive, but it has been extinguished. Love does that sometimes, it is there one day burning bright and then it slowly starts to dim with every fight, every unrequited "I love you" and every day passing by in which we spoke less and less about the things that mattered and more and more about worthless things.

This is all okay, it is a season of life, a part of our lives in which we do suffer but one we must grin and bear. I want you to know that I will always love and care for you, although it is now in a much different way, now we no longer look at each other with doting eyes and open hearts but instead with the freedom to let go and move on.

It is time for us to go on with our lives and find a new adventure, one that will light our hearts on fire instead of continuing to snuff our joint flame. You will always be in my memory and a huge part of my life that I once had but I accept that it's over and that time sometimes wears on things as it has worn on us.

You are the love of my life and that is truly the reason I must forgive you.

Goodbye, my love.

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