To My Mom, Thank You For Your Lessons And Sacrifice

To My Mom, Thank You For Your Lessons And Sacrifice

We can't help but become them, so why not love them?

I am surrounded by so many wonderful women in my life, and with the passing of Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of what I should be, unconditionally, grateful for. I look to my mother, to my boyfriend’s mother, to the mothers of my friends, to grandmothers and aunts. I can’t help but feel so much gratitude for all that they’ve sacrificed, and continue to sacrifice, for the children they’ve so selflessly sculpted into the wonderful human beings I love so much.

On a psychological level, there’s the definitive function of the mother figure. Maternal preoccupation, as theorized, is a necessary motherly instinct that helps in the formation of the child’s psyche. On a less analytical level, we all, eventually, become our mothers for a reason. My anal, at times frantic, desire for a well-swept floor no doubt came from my mother’s post-natal maternal preoccupation that lasted from birth until this very moment- which included her surrounding me, and at times bombarding me, with home-centric rhetoric on cleanliness. I am anxious, which is something I didn’t wish to inherit though; but whether it’s biological or psychological, I did. I’m also overtly caring and sensitive beyond my own control and these are things I can thank my mother for.

Support, in the terms we so often think of it- financial -wasn’t always an option for my mother. I’m one of four on my mother’s side, and sometimes the bills were overwhelming and the paychecks were underwhelming. I saw my mother cry often, and at times I felt the burden of her single parenthood in moments of my childhood. This might sound toxic or debilitating to my wee self’s development, but in my bigness, I have grown to find that I not only empathize with my mother’s actions but I appreciate them. I watched her work hard, not so that I didn’t have to, but so that I knew how to. I gained from her a work ethic that most of my bosses praise, and I gained from her also a sense of responsibility and pride in my own accomplishments. It wasn’t an easy childhood, but it was rewarding. I know now that while life may not always come up roses, you can always adorn it with fake Dollar Store roses so that the neighbors think you’re fancy.

I also thank my mother for the things she couldn’t do; the things that made me angry when I was younger but now relish in as an adult. I can remember hating having to babysit, but as I’ve grown older and have left the house I’ve found that my siblings look to me as something of an authority figure, someone they can look up to and towards. I’ve become a solicitor of thrifty advice (“Nathan, if you join a bunch of clubs, Mom won’t ask you do the floors every day!”) and a purchaser for the forbidden (“The hamster was only $15, it’s an investment in her future!”). I know how to change diapers and make awesome pancake breakfasts, and I have great patience with little people, sometimes more than I’d like. I had to be independent, and I know I can be depended upon, and all because of my mother.

As I'm writing this, it is my mother’s birthday, she’s turning fort----thirty. It is the 15th time we’ve celebrated her thirtieth birthday, and it is the 19th time I have owed my mother more than I could ever repay her.

Cover Image Credit: freestocks-photos / Pixabay

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.

Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!


Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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6 Signs That Your Mom Is Your Best Friend For Life

I am lucky to have a mom and a best friend all in one.


As I have matured into my adult years, I have learned many things thus far. I have learned the valuable importance of friendships, but more importantly, I have discovered the close bond that I have with my mom.

As we mature, we as women come to realize the necessity there is for a mother and a best friend.

Here are six reasons why you just might have lucked out when it comes to moms.

1. You quote movies together.


It's fun to be able to quote movies, but it's even more fun when you have someone to quote them with. One of my moms and I favorite movies to quote is "Freaky Friday." We can just about quote the entire movie!

2. You can confide in her without judgment.

It is nice to have someone that won't judge your actions or your feelings, no matter how ridiculous. I am lucky to have a few people like this in my life, one of them being my mom. It is important for a woman to be able to open up to her mother about things in her life no matter how trivial.

3. She makes you feel special when no one else can.

Ever need an encouraging pep talk? I know I do more often than not, and I can always count on my mom to make me feel better. Whenever I am feeling down or don't feel good about myself, my mom knows just the right things to say to lift me right back up.

4. She is your wine drinking buddy.


It is great to be able to open up to your mom, but it is even better when it is over a bottle a wine. Whether you are going through a breakup, have a had a rough day, or just want to talk, it is always better with a glass of wine and your mom.

5. Her opinion means everything to yo

The CW

I have always trusted my mother's judgment regarding decisions I make and the people I choose to let into my life. When it comes to friends, boyfriends, etc., my mom has never been wrong. She knows the ones to keep around and the ones that won't make the cut.

6. She is there for you through the highest highs and the lowest lows.

The CW

It is safe to say there are many life events that you will stumble upon as you become an adult, and sometimes what you really need is your mom for the really good times and for the very bad times. The bad times, however, are the most important because anyone can be there for you to recognize your accomplishments, but not many will be there to pick you up when you fall. I have been through a lot from my teenage years to now. From mental illnesses and major life decisions to breakups, my mother is the only person that truly knows my heart and what is best for me, and that is something that I am very lucky to have.

Cover Image Credit:

The CW

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