Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.
You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.
Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':
1. Drinking keeps you healthy.
"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."
2. Dinosaurs never existed.
3. A paper bag is a bank.
4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.
"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."
5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.
Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."
6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.
Cece: "Come on, get up!"
Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."
7. There's no reason to wash towels.
Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"
Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"
Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"
8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)
"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."
9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.
"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."
10. You don't need forks if you have hands.
Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."
11. Sex has a very specific definition.
"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."
12. Doors are frustrating.
13. All booze is good booze.
"Can I get an alcohol?"
14. ...unless it's weak booze.
"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"
15. Writers are like pregnant women.
Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."
Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."
Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"
Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."
16. All bets must be honored.
"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."
17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
"Adele is amazing."
18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.
"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."
19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.
“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"
20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.
Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"
Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"
21. ...so are blueberries.
Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."
Nick: "And blueberries."
22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.
Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"
23. Getting into shape is not easy.
"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."
24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.
25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.
"The enemy is the inner me."
26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.
27. Public nudity is normal.
"Everbody has been flashed countless times."
28. Alcohol is a cure-all.
29. Horses are aliens.
30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'
Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."
Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."
31. Trench coats are hot.
32. Sparkles are too.
"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."
33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.
34. It's important to live in the moment.
35. Drinking makes you cooler.
Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."
Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."
Frank Ocean made airwaves in 2012 with his debut album channel ORANGE that took the R&B;/Soul world by storm and made him a household name. His enigmatic presence in pop culture resonated with many young fans who were in the throngs of heartbreak, humiliation, and hardships of a different kind. Some could say he's a mainstream artist that is still rooted in his alternative style, despite having songs with hip-hop heavyweights like Jay-Z, Kanye West, and A$AP Rocky. However, these eleven lyrics are made for the chilly nights of winter for anyone feeling lonely if they're single, recently broken-up, or just reflecting on past relationships.
1. "The best song wasn't the single/But you couldn't turn your radio down"
Song: "Sweet Life". Frank's ability to weave lyrics together with subliminal messaging is magical, not gonna lie. Referring to his crush in the song that they should listen to deeper cuts of an album instead of the radio hits also means that they should invest more in the deeper aspects of their relationship than just the...'sweet life' of it. Powerful.
2. "Do you slide on all your nights like this?"
This shit seriously S L A P S. Ocean, Migos, and Calvin Harris made a sleeper hit in late Spring 2017 with 'Slide', which is slang for no-strings-attached sex. Ocean, monotone throughout it, manages to make you think about this current generation's mindset of casual sex and no real meaningful relationships.
3. "Loving you's a little different I don't like you a lot/I mean...fuck"
Song: "Sunday (feat. Frank Ocean)" by Earl Sweatshirt. Frank, after admitting that he's stopped smoking pot (which after quitting has given him nightmares), doesn't like the person he's loving at the moment because the hate has gotten stronger than the love. I mean, how relatable is that to a lot of people. Certainly a lot more than a classroom.
4. "Tonight she came stumblin' across my lawn again/I just don't know why I keep tryin' to keep a grown woman sober"
Song: "Pilot Jones". Let's be honest, we've all had a few relationships where substances and alcohol have become the unwanted third party. It was a rough time, so of course Ocean has you covered in trying to heal that hurtful part in your life.
5. "But you're beautiful to me/Wave 'em high girl, to the sky"
Song: "Monks". For once, it seems as though Ocean is content and happy with this girl he's with in this song. In every relationship, there's always happiness at some point. It could last the entire time, or just certain parts of it. Either way, you were/are having a great time and not even Monks can disturb that tranquility.
6. "I'll be honest, I wasn't devastated/But you could've held my hands through this, baby"
Song: "Close to You". This minute-long song says so much when it comes modern relationships and how they end. Abrupt, no explanations, not even a chance of trying to work it out. Ocean just makes this powerful without going over two minutes. A great lyric from an underrated track.
7. "Bed full of women, flip on a tripod, little red light on shootin'"
A bit complicated to understand, but all of us have some weird dreams/fantasies. Ocean manages to make that realistic but in a nightmarish way.
8. "Close my eyes and fall into you/My God, she's giving me pleasure"
Song: "Pink Matter (feat. Andre 3000)". Interpret as you wish, folks. We all need to be held by our S.O.
9. "I'll be the boyfriend in your wet dreams tonight"
Song: "Self Control". Ocean be mad flexin' sometimes, and it be like that.
10. "No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it"
His most popular song is the epitome of trying to not care when he DOES care about someone.
11. "I'd do anything for you (In the dark)"
Song: "Seigfried". Ocean admits he'd take a bullet for the person he's singing to, but only when no one else outside knows. He cares but can't show it in public, which many of us have done or experienced from someone we're emotionally invested with.
Overall, these lyrics were intended to shed light on Ocean's masterful lyricism and why he's so cherished by this generation.