The first and most important thing we need to realize is that everyone handles their relationship differently.
Some deal with heartbreak by finding comfort in inappropriate humor, while others turn to sappy love songs. I was especially triggered by Cardi B's reaction when her (ex-)boyfriend cheated on her: "No it's not right for a [guy] to cheat… But what you want me to do? Go f*ck me another [guy]? Start all over again and get cheated on again? This sh*t happens to everyone…" While I admire her being able to publically talk about it, why is cheating being normalized as something that happens to everyone? Is that the reality of today?
This generation of ours is often called 'indecisive' or 'too adventurous.' Both of these attributions attempt to explain our casual dating culture. Don't get me wrong, I'm all on board with the hoe phase that I believe we must ALL experience at one point in our lives to grow in the right direction. But I do believe that when we choose to settle down, we expect some sort of commitment from our significant other. That expectation is human nature, and it can't really evolve. It's as simple as you choosing one person over everyone else and expecting them to do the same for you. Then why is pop culture portraying cheating as something to be celebrated?
Celebrities have a very profound impact on our lives, and even if we don't admit it, we all care about their lives. We involve ourselves in their personal affairs and become unhealthily obsessed with their romances. This is why infidelity hits fans so hard. We idealize these people, who are at the end of the day only humans. Frankly, at this point I think that Hollywood is done idealizing adultery, it is somehow doing something much worse than that — it is normalizing it. Cheating exists in so many films that I've watched recently, but it is never the focal point or the hero of the movie. In other words, no message is given against it. We don't love the hero any less even after he cheats multiple times because that is not the point of the movie.
Passion is often used to justify cheating. 'It happened in the heat of the moment' or 'it was just physical.' Movies and TV Shows portray sexual drive as this unstoppable force that must be satisfied at that very moment. Sure we're very horny, but I do think that millions of years of evolution have made humans smart enough to control these urges. When you cheat on your partner, it is always a conscious, rational decision and it is something you have to live with.
Free will is a very popular concept flowing wildly in our culture. Everyone deserves to be happy, and if cheating makes me happy, imma do that. My advice to you, get an open relationship. It is not that difficult to find a partner who is open to your version of dating. Communication is the most important thing. Sure, exercise your right to free will but do not hurt anyone in the process. That's common decency, mate.
I do realize that relationships are more complicated than I am painting them to be in this piece. But they don't have to be. In my short time in the dating pool, I have been the cheater, and I have been cheated on, and I can say with conviction that it feels colossally shitty to be cheated on. Furthermore, it feels even more shitty when you cheat on someone you care for. Both are places I do not want to be in ever again.
My biggest (and most effective) recommendation is to have a HOE phase early on in your life. Live the philanderer's life for as long as you want and only get into a relationship only when you are ready. In the meanwhile, I desperately hope that pop culture stops NORMALIZING the terror that is adultery.
There is nothing worse than wanting to go on adventures and dates but never being able to make up your mind. Thank goodness the internet is so amazing, and you can find the most romantic date ideas anywhere or in a specific area by the drop of a hat! I hope you try some of these experiences out, and they make for incredible memories.
1. Cooking Together
First I will start with the dates you can do anywhere, not just in the NYC area. Staying in to cook together is one of the best bonding experiences. Not only will it be between just the two of you but you will remember the taste of your food you made together for the longest time!!
2. Pretty BridgePexels
Any historical and vintage bridge you can walk over will be romantic, especially if it has a great view. My favorite is the Brooklyn bridge!
3. A Quiet Italian Restaurant
A romantic dinner at a quiet, warm and cozy restaurant is the ideal date. My favorite place to go to in the city is Da Marino. It is the perfect romantic dinner for two.
4. Movie Night
The old-fashioned movie nights will always be a win in my eyes. My favorite movie theaters are vintage looking ones that make me feel like I have gone back in time.
The most cliche time to go on a date is in the evening, but I love me an excellent breakfast. A great place to have a cute breakfast is the Blue Bell Cafe in Manhattan!
6. Botanical Gardens
Any romantic walk is special, but the most beautiful kind of walk is one with a view. The botanical gardens found in many areas in the city and in other states is a fantastic place to go to smell the flowers, see all the beautiful exhibits and relax together as a couple.
7. Boat Ride in Central Park
In my mind, the most romantic experience is in a quiet setting where it is just the two of you, and you are both relaxed. A gondola ride in central park covers all the bases. You can bring a picnic on the boat, talk to each other for hours with no distractions (as long as you know how to row).
There are so many open spaces we don't know about in New York City BUT one very well known place to have a romantic picnic is in Central Park. Not only is it very accessible but if you want, you never have to picnic at the same spot twice since the park is so spacious.
9. Beach Day
If it is summer time and you are sick of staying in the city, I nice getaway is the New York beaches. Just miles away from Manhattan is Jones beach. A beach day is a beautiful way to get away for a day. It is affordable and fun!
10. Rockefeller Center
In the winter time, a go-to adventure date would hands down be Rockefeller center. Whether you are a local or a visitor to the city, taking a picture in front of the tree and experiencing the holiday atmosphere is priceless.